Abandoned Driveways
by SayaLeigh
Summary: AU. Kurogane has new neighbors, including an attractive but annoying blond. However, it doesn't take him long to discover that Fai is hiding more than he ever imagined behind that fake smile. Can he save the blond from all the demons in and around him? (New account, repost)
1. Breathe Me In, I am Your Nicotine

**A/N:** Hey guys! This fic was originally posted on my previous account (now SayaLeigh-moved). It is finished and I'll be honest, chances of a sequel aren't good. I have an idea, but no motivation. And it would be more Sakura/Syaoran than KuroFai anyway.

* * *

 **Abandoned Driveways**

 _1-Breathe Me In, I Am Your Nicotine_

The sun was shining brightly on the weathered boards of Kurogane Suwa's wide back porch, and for some reason it was pissing him off to no end. He stood barefoot, feeling the rough wood against the soles of his feet. From the front yard he could hear the sounds of a moving van.

Great. Neighbors.

He sure as hell wasn't hiding, but he wasn't interested in going to see these new additions to the neighborhood. It didn't matter if it was some soccer mom who would constantly complain about the fading paint job of his house or some sniveling brats who wanted to see his sword collection every day; he was sure they'd be annoying.

"Kurogane-san!"

He looked up as a familiar voice called his name. The kids who lived next door to each other a few houses down, Sakura and Syaoran, were peering over his fence from the front yard.

He sighed and ran a hand through his unruly black hair. Knowing the kids, they'd want him to come greet the neighbors. Still, he could play dumb. "What is it?"

"Aren't you going to come say hi?" asked Sakura in her usual cheerful, innocent voice. Of course.

As she spoke, a third head joined theirs. It was pale but smiling and framed by tousled blond hair. The big, blue, haunting eyes found Kurogane's narrowed red ones and the smile grew.

"Hello, Mr. Black!" the blond chirped, waving like an idiot.

"I am _not_ 'Mr. Black!'" Kurogane snapped; he could already tell this moron would make a point of annoying him from now on, "I'mKurogane!"

"Kurogane, huh?" the blond asked as the kids slipped away, "So what works? Kuro-chan? Kuro-rin?"

"It's Kurogane!"

The other man ignored him. "You can just call me Fai," he told Kurogane, draping himself over the top of the fence.

"Whatever," Kurogane snapped, stomping across the creaking porch to his back door.

"Hey, Kuro-tan! Don't leave!" Fai called after him.

Kurogane slammed the door shut behind him with a resounding _bang!_

Two days later, Kurogane was retrieving his mail from the box next to his front door when he spotted the kids headed up the street. He frowned to himself, wondering what they could be doing with the box Syaoran carried. His question was answered before he could even wave to the kids.

"Hyuu~! Is that for me?" asked a voice that grated on his nerves.

He peered around the corner of the house to see the lanky blond leaning on the railing of his own porch next door. A tiny fake smile was pasted on his pale face. Kurogane couldn't stop his eyes from drifting down to the smooth skin of his stomach, revealed by a too-short blue shirt and black pants that clung to the feminine hips. Swallowing hard, Kurogane pulled back.

Maybe it was a good thing he found Fai so damn annoying.

"Yeah, it is. Sakura-chan made it," Syaoran's voice called back.

Kurogane turned away, hoping to escape back into the house before the kids called attention to him. However, it would seem that fate had other plans for him.

"Good morning, Kurogane-san!" Sakura's voice called. Kurogane froze, knowing it was only a matter of time before-

"Kuro-myu?"

 _Shit._

There was a soft thump. Kurogane seemed unable to move; it was as if his body wouldn't listen to him. His brain was screaming at him to run, to get inside before his idiotic blond neighbor became unavoidable.

"Hyuu~! Kuro-chan, you should've said something! I didn't know you were out here," Fai sang from right behind him.

Kurogane turned slightly, glaring over his shoulder. "Yeah, and I was hoping to keep it that way," he grumbled. Unfortunately, his tone didn't deter the man.

The fake smile stayed perfectly in place. Kurogane frowned. Most people would at least drop the cheer-factor a little in the face of someone as grumpy as he tried to appear to Fai. If anything, the hollow grin widened.

"Aww, don't be like that Kuro-sama," he cooed.

"Will you stop with those damn nicknames!?" Kurogane shouted, turning so he could tower over his new companion.

"Um...Kurogane-san...would you like to join us?" Sakura's voice broke through his anger and indignation. He blinked, surprised. When had the kids joined them?

"Uh...No. I'm going somewhere," he grumbled. He'd make any excuse to get away from the blond, who was now pouting with those big blue eyes of his.

He hurried into the house, trying not to look like he was running away, and all but slammed the front door behind him. Now out of sight of Fai, he stopped to take a deep, shaky breath. Stupid blond; he was too annoying for his own good-or Kurogane's, for that matter.

He shook his head to clear it and decided to follow through on what he'd told Sakura. Now that he thought about it, his fridge was looking sort of empty. He set his mail on the kitchen counter, grabbed his keys, and left, checking before he opened the door to make sure his porch was clear of innocent-yet-accidentally-devious kids and stupid, annoying next-door blonds.

His thoughts chased each other around his mind as he walked to the grocery store, and he tried unsuccessfully to block them out. Most centered around his new neighbor, causing his eye to twitch with irritation. The people he passed on the street scurried out of his way, noticing the furious gleam in his already-intimidating crimson eyes.

"Are you going to stomp around like an angry rhino all day or are you going to do something about your problems?"

The calm, knowing voice broke through his whirlwind of thoughts. His head snapped around to glare at the source, a tall, pale woman with long black hair and a knowing smirk. She stood almost lazily in front of darkened shop, smoke trailing lazily from the end of a long, thin pipe.

"What the hell would you know!?" he snapped. It wasn't like him to go off on innocent bystanders, but she was hardly innocent after that comment, was she?

The woman just shrugged, that irritating smirk never leaving her pale lips. "I'm just saying you shouldn't be so quick to judge someone. You could give people a chance, you know? Especially him."

Kurogane whirled to face her, his glare intensifying. "What the hell? What do you mean?" he demanded. He'd never even seen this annoying woman before, so how could she know he was having problems with anyone, let alone a "he"?

"I'm sorry," the woman replied, not sounding even a little sorry, "I can't just give away that information. Like everything else, it has a price."

Kurogane scoffed. "If you can't say anything helpful, you might as well just keep your mouth shut," he told the smirking woman.

She offered a tiny, noncommittal wave as he turned away. "If you change your mind," she called after him without seeming to raise her voice, "just ask around for Ichihara Yuuko."

"Like hell I will," Kurogane grumbled to himself.

He continued going about his business, but he couldn't shake the encounter from his mind or the mood it had left him in. He tried focusing on other things, like how light his wallet felt after just a little grocery shopping or how, when he got back to his house, the way his air conditioner greeted him with its last dying breaths. He finally found himself glaring at the innocent TV screen; the machine was buzzing with static after the station had announced it was having technical difficulties. It seemed like the whole damn world was scheming to make his mood as black as possible.

An annoying voice drifted through the window, breaking his concentration as he tried to blast the TV into oblivion by sheer willpower. He glanced over the couch. Apparently the kids were just leaving the house next door. He sighed heavily, remembering the source of his irritation. Damn blond idiot and his annoying, overly-cheerful façade. It was like one of those catchy but meaningless songs on the radio; once it entered your head, you couldn't get it out.

He stepped out onto the front porch and waved at the kids as they passed. Over their quiet footsteps, he could hear the sound of the old, creaking front door of the next house shutting. He glared at the trees across the street, wondering if he should go see how the blond was doing. He knew there were other people in the house, but he'd never seen any of them. It bothered him, living in such close proximity to the unknown.

At least, he told himself that was the reason for this visit.

He stood in front of the closed door for a good twenty minutes, hoping no one was looking through the curtains at him. He raised his hand to press the bell several time, but never followed through. He wasn't chickening out or anything, he just...sensed it was a bad time.

Finally he took a deep breath, steeling himself, and pressed the tiny, round button. The sound of the bell chiming throughout the small house left him cringing with uncertainty. _Is that moron even here?_ he wondered belatedly. It had been a while since the kids left, and he hadn't exactly been watching the house as he pondering the benefits of making this visit.

His question was answered when the door opened and a mop of blond hair appeared at his eye level.

"Kuro-tan?"

Even through his disgust concerning the nickname, Kurogane noticed that the blond's voice shook slightly under the cheerful note he'd somehow forced into it. He glared, deciding he wouldn't ask if the idiot wasn't going to say anything.

"It's Kurogane!" he snapped with his usual gruffness, trying not to lose his temper before he accomplished his goal.

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't scheming anything," Kurogane lied. He didn't know what exactly could have given him the idea that a falsly happy idiot like this was up to something, but he wasn't about the change his story.

"Aw, Kuro-rin was just worried about how I'm settling in," Fai cooed, reaching up to pat his spiky black hair, "How sweet!"

Before Kurogane could retort, Fai's sleeve slipped down, revealing five round, dark marks just inches from Kurogane's nose. His words caught in his throat as he recognized them; the pattern could only be the imprint of fingers digging into someone's arm as it was grabbed roughly.

"What's this?" Kurogane asked, tremors of anger and disgust shaking his deep voice. He took Fai's arm more gently than he would have just moments ago.

The blond tried to pull his arm back, but Kurogane tightened his grip, careful not to leave similar bruises.

"It's nothing," Fai lied. His face was turned down, causing his blond hair to fall in his sapphire eyes and shield his face.

Kurogane frowned. "Whatever," he growled, dropping the other's arm and stalking away. There was no sound from behind him, and as he reached his house, he glanced back to see the the blond hadn't moved at all. Kurogane's chest ached as he studied the blond shield.

"Can't help him if he won't help himself," he sighed. Even to his own ears, he sounded as if he was only trying to convince himself. Why was he such a damn bleeding heart sometimes?

That night he found himself standing at the window in his darkened bedroom. His chest was bare, but a small towel lay draped over his damp hair and another was wrapped around his hips. He was frowning in irritation, and his brow was furrowed in a way that was sure to give him premature wrinkles.

His scarlet eyes were focused on the lighted window on the other side of his fence. Every now and then, a certain blond would pass through his range of vision. His frown deepened with every round, reminding him of the situation he discovered.

He sighed, pulling the towel from his head and tossing it across the room. Futilely telling himself not to worry, he changed into something more substantial than a towel and crawling into bed, firmly shutting up the thoughts trying to chase each other around his head.


	2. I'll Fill Your Lungs Until You Cannot Br

**A/N:** I never did get around to editing this chapter...Oops?

* * *

 **Abandoned Driveways**

 _2-I'll Fill Your Lungs Until You Cannot Breathe_

The blond clearly wasn't listening to the teacher. Instead he was staring out the window, tapping a blue pen against his rose-colored lips. Even now, a fake smile hovered around the corners of his mouth.

Kurogane studied him from across the room as if trying to physically see through his emotional defenses. He had blocked the teacher out entirely, focusing on his attempts. Besides, he could always read the textbook later. Or, more accurately, skim it.

As if feeling Kurogane's eyes on him, the blond turned. Sapphire met crimson and the smile turned teasing while the frown deepened. Kurogane glared at the idiot, trying to get that fake grin to drop or at least falter. His attempts were futile, and the bell to end class rang moments later.

The paler boy stood and began making his way across the room. Kurogane stood as he approached, trying not to panic. If that idiot said anything that gave the rest of the class the wrong idea...

"Kuro-pii often watches me in class, ne?"

He should've known it was too much to hope for this moron to be able to keep his mouth shut. A couple girls nearby, Sumomo and Kotoko, glanced over at that. Kotoko's usually bored expression held a trace of amusement, and Sumomo's eyes were sparkling with interest. Kurogane found the urge to hit Fai almost impossible to resist once Sumomo's giggling started.

"Will you just shut the hell up!?" the black-haired man growled. He seized his companion's arm and dragged him from the classroom without protest. Embarrassed or not, he had to find out what was going on in the pest's home life.

"Hmm, does Kuro-myuu want something?" Fai asked, his tone bordering on suggestive.

Kurogane rolled his eyes. Did this guy ever listen when people told him to shut his damn mouth?

...Probably not.

"Yeah, I want you to tell me how the hell you got these," Kurogane snarled, his voice rougher than usual to hide his concern. He clarified his meaning by shoving the other boy's sleeve up his arm to reveal the bruises he'd seen before and several more. He was dismayed to see the impression of a thumb that looked as if it had just appeared.

Fai's smile waned, but he quickly recovered. "Silly me," he chirped, "Sometimes I don't know my own strength."

"What strength?" Kurogane grumbled. He could feel the muscle in the arm under his own strong fingers, and he could tell that the blond couldn't possibly have given himself those marks. He also knew that even if he was being honest, the idiot wasn't actually stupid enough to bruise himself so many times.

"Fine, whatever. How old is this one?" Seeing as he wasn't going to get a straight answer with the previous question, Kurogane moved on. He tried to point to the fresh-looking blemish, but the blond managed to slide his arm from the other's grip before he could.

"C'mon, Kuro-rin," Fai purred, changing the subject, "This isn't very romantic of you." He leaned into Kurogane's personal space, a smirk settling on his features.

"I'm not trying to be romantic! And it's Kurogane!" Kurogane snapped, gritting his teeth in a way he knew would have his dentist griping at him later.

Fai replied with a forced giggle and straightened up again. Kurogane frowned at him, but followed the other boy back to class. He only had an hour or so to go; maybe he could try to corner the blond before he left.

The next hour proceeded much as the last few had. The blond stared out the window, and he stared at the blond. The rest of the class was nothing more than background noise. Only Sumomo's occasional giggle had the power to break his focus, and then only long enough for his eye to twitch in irritation.

He was out of his seat the instant the final bell began to chime. When Fai finally tore his attention from the window, he looked only mildly surprised to see Kurogane glaring down at him. With yet another idiotic fake smile, he batted his eyes up at the taller man.

"Does Kuro-puu want to take me home?" he asked, a note of childish teasing in his voice.

"Sure, whatever," Kurogane agreed quickly, yet still gruffly. This idiot couldn't escape questioning if he was in a moving vehicle, right?

Surprise flickered across the pale face, but it was quickly covered by the usual mask. He stood up and grabbed Kurogane's hand, which the latter tried to ignore. If he was going to get answers, he couldn't scare the blond away.

Then again, that was starting to seem almost impossible anyway.

He stomped quickly from the classroom, dragging the cheerfully chattering blond man with him. He wasn't listening to what Fai was saying; it was mostly nonsense and he was more focused on trying not to react to the looks they were getting. He was sure there was a bit more color than usual in his face by the time they reached his beat-up, hand-me-down car, but he hoped his companion wouldn't notice as Kurogane practically shoved him into the passenger side. Throughout the entire exchange, the blond's grin never wavered.

"So," Kurogane grumbled, barely audible under the engine as growled to life around them, " _Now_ will you tell me what I want to know?"

"Yes, I'm single," Fai answered, his smile hovering somewhere between seductive and innocently flirtatious.

"What the-? That's not what I...Dammit, you know what I was getting at!" Kurogane snarled and sputtered, finally losing his battle with the blood rushing to his cheeks.

Fai giggled. He seemed totally unconcerned by the possibility of Kurogane's volatile temper causing an accident, though his eyes darted to the steering wheel as if to make sure the tanned hands were going to stay put.

Kurogane noticed, but decided not to comment. He growled under his breath, coming to terms with the fact that he'd have to get the blond to trust him if he wanted answers. _Who knows how long that will take_ , he thought with a mental sigh.

He spent the rest of the ride glaring at blemishes in the cars crawling through traffic in front of his. The dents, paint chips, and window cracks distracted him from the babbling of the man next to him. The man in question was babbling again. Kurogane tried not to listen, but every now and again he caught something about the traffic, the sun, the bug on the window, how attractive he was...

 _Wait, what?_

"Oi, will you shut the hell up!?" he snapped, trying to resist another blush.

Fai giggled in an annoyingly omniscient way, but he finally shut his damn mouth.

Only to begin humming a tune Kurogane knew would be stuck in his head for days to come.

He wasn't really doing this, was he? There was no way he was stupid enough to subject himself to that torture again, right?

Oh gods, he was going to do it.

"Hey," he called gruffly, "Are you coming?"

Again, Fai looked surprised by the offer of a ride home.

The weather was getting steadily colder. Kurogane's mood grew steadily worse with the change in the temperature; he hated the cold. He couldn't understand why his damn neighbor seemed to enjoy it so much, and that only increased his superficial animosity toward the blond. Secretly, he was just glad he didn't have to remind the idiot to wear a coat.

Still, he worried about the other boy. Today, he could see a smear of cover-up on the pale cheek. He wondered what it was supposed to be cover up, and he was unnerved by the quality of the blending. How long had he been doing this?

And last week, he'd been limping. The week before, Kurogane had spotted a bruise peeking out from the frayed sleeve of his t-shirt.

Every time he spotted a new injury, his stomach lurched in an uncomfortable mixture of anger and despair.

On the other hand, the blond was beginning to relax around him. The smiles were still fake, but there was now a genuine twinkle in his sapphire eyes. He laughed more, and actually seemed to mean it most of the time. The only thing Kurogane found himself frustrated by was the increase in the nicknames the blond came up with.

However, as he found himself-yet again-watching the blond from across the room, Kurogane couldn't see these things. Fai's cheeks were unusually flushed, but the rest of his skin seemed paled than usual. His normally bright eyes looked dull and glassy. Even his hair seemed to lack the energy it needed for the attractively tousled style Fai normally maintained.

Kurogane mentally kicked himself for thinking of the moron as attractive, then continued to watch him.

The moment the first bell rang, he was out of his seat and approaching the blond. Fai looked up at him, his brow furrowed in apparent confusion. His face was otherwise blank, but there was a dim flicker of recognition in the cerulean depths of his eyes.

"Kuro...chii?" he asked slowly. His voice seemed thick, as if he couldn't quite make his mouth cooperate to form the sounds. Before Kurogane could open his mouth to ask if he was alright, those blue eyes rolled upward and the blond's head hit the desk.

"Hey, Idiot!" Kurogane called as he covered the remaining distance to the desk in two long strides. His voice was gruff with worry, and the students who remained in the room spared him curious glances. He ignored them and pressed the back of his hand to Fai's clammy forehead, not surprised when unnatural heat penetrated his skin.

Heaving an annoyed sigh, Kurogane pulled the slim blond from the seat and into his arms. Fai's head rolled back, finding a comfortable place to rest against Kurogane's shoulder. Kurogane frowned down at his burden trying to suppress the worry he felt.

He grabbed his and Fai's bags as he left the classroom, swinging them over the arm that wasn't supporting the blond's too-light-to-be-healthy torso. The bell to start class rang as he reached his car, but he ignored it. They could take the rest of the day off; Fai's health was more important than their grades.

Back at the house, he had to make two trips to get both the other boy and their stuff into the house. He kicked the door shut behind him, both relieved and concerned when the loud slam didn't wake the invalid. He laid Fai gently only the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of it, frowning down at the unconscious figure.

The shirt of Fai's uniform was riding up, showing an expanse of pale skin and the edge of a dark bruise. His morbid curiosity overriding his sense of decency, Kurogane reached forward and pushed the shirt up until he could see the entire blemish. His heart sank. As he'd suspected, the bruise perfectly matched a fist the size of his own. Either that was the cause, or there were some large, strangely projecting corners next door.

He spotted another bruise just out of sight. This one had faded to enough that even he almost missed it. He frowned down at the mark that, to him, seemed to give off waves of menace. Throwing decency out the window, Kurogane reached down and unbuttoned the blond's shirt.

Water hit the ceramic basin of the sink as Kurogane squeezed out the cloth he'd found in a cupboard he rarely used. The water was turning his skin an uncomfortable shade of pinkish-red with its heat, but he barely noticed. All he felt was an overwhelmed numbness.

Fai's skin was pale, soft, and covered with dark contusions. There were scars too, though not nearly as many. His only relief had been that the skin of the blond's wrists and other areas of concern was still smooth, free of any sign of past or present injury.

Kurogane turned the water off and folded the cloth before wringing it out again. He carried the damp fabric back into the living room and laid it on the other boy's forehead, pushing his sweaty blond locks aside with one hand. He sighed as he gazed down at Fai, at a loss as to what else he could do.

It would be so much easier if the blond would just let him in, but after what he'd seen, he knew he couldn't just expect Fai to drop all his defenses and lay his problems out.

Kurogane crossed his arms and sat back on the table, waiting for the invalid to wake up. His ruby eyes traced the other's pale form, and for a moment he wondered if he should try to put his shirt back on. Deciding that sick people needed rest more than clothing, he settled for laying it over the pale chest like a blanket instead.

He didn't have to wait long after that for the blond to wake up. Fai's pale eyelids fluttered open and he stared blankly at the ceiling, blinking slowly.

"Hey," Kurogane greeted, trying to keep his voice soft.

It didn't help. Fai's eyes widened before he quickly replaced his panicked expression with a sloppy fake smile. Kurogane resisted the urge to scoff; even an amateur could see through that shitty mask.

"G-good morning, Kuro-rin!" the blond chirped, his voice shaking slightly. He tried to sit up, but Kurogane, remembering a particularly large bruise on his lower back, pushed him gently back down. Fai blinked as his shirt-blanket slid down, and a hint of fear appeared in his eyes.

Kurogane stared down at the blond, meeting the unwavering smile with a scowl of his own. He was determined and upset, promising himself that he wouldn't let this idiot slip away this time without answering his questions. Fai seemed to sense this and glanced around, looking for an escape route.

"So," Kurogane growled finally, drawing the blond's attention back to him, "how long has it been going on?"

A nervous giggle escaped the liar's pale lips. "What do you mean, Kuro-chuu?" he asked, faking as innocent a smile as he possibly could.

Kurogane growled again and leaned forward, hoping his invasion of the blond's personal space would throw him off. "I mean _this,_ " he hissed, laying his palm gently on the large blemish that had been the cause of his "investigation."

Fai just smiled, looking almost sad for a moment. "Kuro-pon is so silly," he mused, as if to himself. Before Kurogane could retort or react, Fai leaned up and pressed his unnaturally cool lips to Kurogane's cheek.

For several moments, pure sensation drove all thought from Kurogane's mind. He could feel the long, pale gold hair mingling and catching on his own dark spikes. The narrow tip of Fai's nose brushed along his cheekbone, repeating like a broken record. Then, of course, he still felt the pressure of those lips that constantly both annoyed and taunted him. Now they would be haunting him.

When he finally looked up, his front door was closing behind the slim, still-shirtless figure.


	3. Swallow Me Down, I am Your Alcohol

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _3-Swallow Me Down, I am Your Alcohol_

The room was filled with flickering blue light, but the house was otherwise dark. Exaggerated voices and an occasional ridiculing snort of laughter were the only sounds. Kurogane leaned back on the couch, one arm slung over the back, the other supporting the can of beer than rested on his knee.

He was watching some game show, though it had nothing to do with any interest in the show. His cousin, Tomoyo, had left the TV on earlier when she visited, and he'd been too lazy to change the channel. As he watched a colorful wheel spin across the screen, his thoughts drifted.

He was trying to herd them away from speculations about the half-lit house next door when there was a knock on his door. He stood quickly, hoping-though he'd never admit it-that it might be the kids, and that they might have something to distract him from his own empty house.

Instead, slumped shoulders and messy blond hair met his eyes when he opened the door. Dim blue eyes were hidden from him by the silky hair falling into the pale face, but Kurogane could feel the seemingly lifeless gaze focused somewhere around his knees.

It had been almost a week since he'd last seen the idiot. Since his sudden fever on Monday, his seat had been empty. Kurogane had assumed he needed rest and hadn't checked up on him.

Now, his heart pounded painfully as conflicting emotions flooded him. Fear gripped him, because he knew that something was seriously wrong if Fai was coming to him without those annoying fake smile. At the same time, his attraction to the blond came back full force. Gods, he was beautiful...Next came anger, both at Fai for not having come to him sooner and at whoever had left the blond in this broken state. Most of all, he wished he had kept an eye on this idiot so things like this wouldn't happen.

"Can I...come in?" Fai asked softly, his hesitant voice breaking Kurogane's daze and twisting his heart painfully.

"Yeah," he replied quickly, his own voice soft but gruff with emotion. He stepped aside, but Fai didn't move. Kurogane side and reached out to take his arm, drawing him into the warmth of the house.

Fai stopped when Kurogane released his arm. Those blue eyes flickered around the darkened room like a skittish animal, uncomfortable and hyper-aware of his surroundings. Kurogane ran a hand through his dark hair, wondering how he could get the other boy to relax. His eyes fell on the can sitting on the corner of the coffee table.

"Uh, do you want a beer or something?" he offered, feeling a bit out-of-place himself.

The blond nodded absently; Kurogane wasn't sure his offer had really been processed and understood. Nevertheless, he left the room to retrieve ther beverage.

When he came back, Fai was standing exactly as he had left him. Biting back a sigh, Kurogane decided it was his job to manipulate his newfound drinking buddy into a more comfortable setting. He approached the blond, his ruby eyes watching intently for the slightest sign of an adverse reaction, and pressed the cold can into the long-fingered hand before steering the boy to the couch.

The movement seemed to rouse Fai. He blinked at the can he found himself holding and raised his hand slowly to open it. Satisfied, Kurogane let himself settle back into his previously occupied corner of the couch and return to his own drinking.

The swirling colors of the game wheel recaptured his attention for a moment, but a bright flash in his peripheral drew his gaze back to his companion.

His jaw dropped as he watched Fai tip up the can and guzzle the liquid inside. The blond's Adam's apple bobbed rapidly, his pale skin practically glowing in the dim light. When the can was finally lowered, empty, to reveal vaguely disappointed features, Kurogane snapped out of his stupor.

"What the hell!? You aren't supposed to drink it like that, Idiot!" He'd meant for it to be an incredulous but relatively calm scolding, but his gruff voice and concerned surprise made it sound as if he'd shouted the reprimand. Fai looked up at him with wide eyes. They were less glassy than before, but there was no indication he understood any more than when he'd appeared in the doorway.

Fai giggled suddenly, and Kurogane's eyebrow twitched in response. He watched warily as a grin slowly spread over those tempting, pale lips. It wasn't one of the usual fake smiles, but instead a sort of sloppy grin. Fai's eyelids drooped, and his half-lidded gaze was fixed on the lower half of Kurogane's face. The darker man swallowed hard. He had a sneaking suspicion of what the blond-who was now crawling towards him across the length of the couch-might have in mind.

"Meow, what are you thinking?" Fai asked, invading Kurogane's personal space.

The black-haired man blinking. "Are you seriously drunk?" he asked, staring at the still-meowing teenager trying to crawl into his lap.

"Of course not, Kuro-chuu, meow," Fai denied, but his already-flushed cheeks betrayed him.

Kurogane shoved at the blond's shoulder, trying to push away his tormentor and his own sneaking sense of disappointment. Fai moved away, and a premature wave of relief washed over Kurogane.

It disappeared when the blond suddenly grabbed his own can from his hand an downed that too.

"Hey!" Kurogane snapped, "That one wasn't even yours!"

"That's okay," Fai giggled, "You would've shared with me anyway, right, Kuro-chan?"

"I would not!" Kurogane roar, feeling heat that didn't come from alcohol staining his cheeks, "And stop with the damn na-Hey!"

Fai had suddenly slumped forward, landing on the broad chest under him with more force than Kurogane had thought possible for such a slight frame. He pushed back the blond bangs in disbelief, but it looked at if the other really had passed out already. The empty can rolled away silently across the carpeted floor.

"Lightweight," Kurogane grumbled to himself. He began to stroke Fai's thick, soft hair absentmindedly, his eyes focused on the tv without really seeing the bizarre crime drama that had replaced the game show.

Instead, his mind's eye was once again running over the various bruises decorating the body that rested across his own. A small part of him was cursing his inability to overlook any injustice, but it was overruled by the inability itself. An even smaller part tried to suggest that there was more to the situation, something to do with the victim himself, but Kurogane forced himself to ignore it.

Fai shifted his weight in his sleep, bringing Kurogane's thoughts back to himself. He blushed at the sight of his bronzed fingers tangled in the golden locks. He'd never admit it, but maybe that tiny, ignored part of his consciousness had a point.

He slid himself out from underneath Fai, carefully moving the unconcious blond onto the couch. He thought about leaving it at that, but the good manners his parents had once ground into him wouldn't allow it. Grumbling to himself, he found a pillow an a blanket.

As he spread the blanket over the immoble form, he caught a glimpse of the blond's sleeping face. He found himself crouching down, studying it as he had before. Now the pale skin was flushed with alcohol, not fever, but the effect was the same. Kurogane found himself just as captivated. Without the mask of the forced smile, Fai was even more beautiful.

Shaking his head to clear it of such girly thoughts, Kurogane stood and headed toward his own room. At the doorway, he stopped and looked back. Fai looked so innocent, and an ache in Kurogane's chest reminded him how much he wanted that to be true.

Almost as an afterthought, he turned back to turn off the TV. He had no idea how he ended up back at the couch, his sharp eyes picking out now-familiar features in the darkness.

"Eventually, you will tell me what's happening to you," Kurogane promised himself and the sleeping figure. Without thinking, he leaned down and pressed his lips to Fai's temple.

Then, wondering how concerned he really should be about his own actions, he went to bed.


	4. I'll Fill Your Gut with All the Pain and

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _4-I'll Fill Your Gut with All the Pain and Loss_

The first thing Fai became aware of was the headache that throbbed in his temples and pounded through the rest of his skull. His brow furrowed, trying to ward off the pain and help his eyelids block the harsh morning light. The effort was futile in both areas.

Groaning with resignation, Fai forced his eyelids open a crack.

His heart skipped a beat as he realized his surrounding were unfamiliar. They tugged at his memory, and he was sure he'd been here before, but through his hangover, he couldn't place them.

 _Shit,_ Fai growled mentally, _what did I do last night?_

He hoped it wasn't something that would upset his family. Then again, his parents were most likely either hungover as well or so stoned they wouldn't know their own names, much less his. He wasn't entirely sure Chii would understand how wrong this situation was, but Ashura would definitely make this an example of Something That Should Never Happen Again.

Fai couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through him at the thought of his cousin. Ashura was three years older than him and violently overprotective. Unfortunately, he was apparently trying to protect Fai from himself.

Fai dismissed the thought and tried to cast his mind back to the night before.

 _"Your grades will start to slip if you stay home any longer."_

 _Ashura's calm voice startled Fai from his thoughts, but he covered it with a smile as he turned to the door of his room. Internally, he scolded himself for staring out the window at Kuro-tan's house instead of reading the book in front of him._

 _"Ah, right," he chirped, "I'll be there on Monday. I was just worried that I might make someone else sick." As usual, he was lying. In reality, he'd been avoiding Kurogane. After their last encounter, he'd been terrified his "tall, dark, and handsome" would react badly._

 _Ashura's features twisting in concern, which had been the last thing Fai wanted. As the older man stepping into the room, Fai tried to draw back inconspicously._

 _"Are you still sick?" Ashura asked, his voice as full of concern as it ever got. He raised his hand as if to compare its temperature to Fai's forehead, and the blond visibly fliched. Ashura's expression darkened._

 _"No, no, I'm okay. I'm fine now," Fai assured him, reaching for the slighted hand to cover up his earlier reaction._

 _A rush of blood filled Fai's ears as Ashura's knuckles connected hard with his cheekbone. He blinked as his mind tried to catch up with the situation even as his heart sank with dread._

 _"Then why did you stay home? If you're fine, go to school," Ashura scolded. His voice was devoid of emotion, but the long fingers digging into the muscle of Fai's neck communicated his frustration better than if he had screamed the words._

Ashura had left the room after his short lecture, and, without thinking, Fai had crawled through his window and found himself on Kuro-pii's doorstep. After that, he couldn't remember much. If this was Kuro-pon's living room, that would explain his vague memory of him.

"You're awake?"

The rough voice prompted him to forced his eyes open again. Kuro-tan stood at the opening of the hallway, wearing only low-slung black sweatpants. For a moment, Fai could only admire the rippling musculature of his sun-kissed torso.

Apparently that was all the answer the man needed, because he advanced into the room and sat on the table in front of Fai's couch. Fai hid his discomfort with a smile, but his heart pounded. Kuro-chan's crimson eyes seemed to burn through them, making him wonder again what had happened here the night before. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to avoid the onslaught of questions he knew was coming.

"You're such a lightweight," Kuro-chuu commented suddenly. A faint blush snuck past Fai's defenses; he knew the taller boy was right.

Suddenly a darker-skinned hand came up; the rough pads of the fingers brushed lightly across the sensitive skin of Fai's throat. Blue eyes widened dramatically, and Fai wondered what he had done that made Kuro-pon think a touch like that was okay.

"Where did you get this?" Kuro-wan asked. His deep voice was soft and laced with concern.

Oh. Right. The bruises Ashura's fingers had left on his throat.

"Who knows?" Fai lied, "It's not important, is it?"

Kuro-sama's dark eyes flashed. "Of course it is!" he snapped, leaning in, "I shouldn't be the only one worried if someone is trying to strangle you!" He continued to glare, as if oblivious of his own words.

"Kuro-chan is worried about me?" he asked playfully, taking the hand that still rested on his neck.

Those words provoked the blush he had expected. Still, Kuro-tan didn't break his gaze or his line of interrogation.

"Quit turning this on me!" Kurogane snapped, obviously frazzled, "I want to know where you got these!" His hand lurched toward Fai's throat, but the blond didn't flinch. He could feel his smile falter just slightly, however, and he hoped Kuro-pii hadn't noticed it.

The tan hand stopped just as the fingertips brushed paler skin, and shame flooded the crimson eyes. Fai decided he didn't like that look.

"So," he began instead, taking Kuro-wan's hand in his slighter ones, "I'm sure Kuro-sama has a lot to do today, so I'll just leave now."

He stood, but Kuro-chan didn't release his hand. When Fai looked down at him, he saw that the other continued to face forward, his eyes fixed on the couch where Fai had been sitting. His expression was dark and brooding, as if he didn't like what he was about to say but wanted to make sure the message got across. Fai waited, wondering at Kuro-pon's seemingly selfless nature.

Instead, he shook his head, the muscles in his neck moving smoothly under his dark skin. "You're not leaving yet," he stated firmly, finally turning so sapphire met ruby, "Not until you give me a straight answer."

"One straight answer coming right up," Fai assured him playfully, hoping his voice wouldn't shake under that determined gaze. However, the relief that shone after his words almost made him feel worse.

Before speaking again, Kuro-chan stood and moved into Fai's personal space, limited as it might have been. The blond didn't move as the strong, tanned fingers slide through his thick hair. He focused on the collarbone inches from his nose, trying to control his breathing.

The silence stretched out, and Fai dared to glance up at Kuro-tan's face. His expression was thoughtful, his brow furrowed, as if he was deep in thought. Fai wondered if the other had caught the warning in his playful comment and was choosing his question carefully.

"Why won't you come ask me for help?" Kuro-chu asked finally. His voice was soft, as if the question had slipped out without his permission. His expression darkened as if he was mentally kicking himself.

After a moment's thought, Fai decided the question was safe enough to answer honestly. He added another kilowatt to his smile. "Now, now, Kuro-wan," he began, slipping a hint of laughter into his already too-cheerful-to-be-genuine voice, "You can't go around solving everyone's problems, can you?"

Even phrased in such an innocuos way, Fai found that it hurt him to admit that his problems were beyond solving. A flash of insight, closely followed by a jolt of panic, told him that the man in front of him had given him hope, however fleeting. But who could be immune to the determined glare he found himself on the recieving end of so often? Even now, that expression was fully focused on him.

"I'm not trying to solve everyone's problems," Kurogane growled, "I'm just trying to help you!"

Fai could feel an edge of sadness to the smile the crossed his face now, and he couldn't seem to erase it. He wanted what was being offered to him-freedom, hope, and maybe, if he was lucky, even love. But no matter the circumstances, family was important.

The last thought reminded him that he had been away from home all night, and that Ashura would no doubt be waiting with another lecture full of emotional barbs. Hiding his sudden discomfort from his companion, he drew back and laughed.

"Well, thank you Kuro-chan, but the best thing for me right now is to go get some shut-eye in a real bed," he lied, knowing full well he wouldn't be getting any more sleep for hours at best. He drew back from the other man's arms and hurried out the door, thowing a wave over his shoulder that he hoped looked casual enough to cover his suspiciously quick exit. As he closed the door behind himself, he could hear a familiar deep voice cursing at an empty room.

As he crossed the rich green expanse between the house he lived in and the house he'd spent the night at, he took several deep breaths to prepare himself. His heart sank as, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the curtains fall back into place. He hoped it had been Chii looking for him, but that wasn't very likely.

The door opened as he reached it, confirming his fears even before he could see Ashura waiting just inside the darkness of the living room. If it had been Chii, she would have thrown the door open, then run out and tackled him. He forced himself to smile at Ashura, hoping the older male would at least behave until the door closed. He didn't know if Kuro-chii would be able to see them at this angle, but it wouldn't help Fai's denials.

The pale face, framed with dark hair that was unusually mussed, watched him impassively. Even from the other side of the porch, Fai could feel the disappoint radiating from the imposing, immobile form. Still, he took the few steps remaining with no hesitation.

"Where have you been?" Ashura asked softly. He didn't move to let Fai enter the house.

"Nowhere important," Fai told him, trying to convince himself as well as his cousin. It didn't seem to work on either of them, judging by the way Ashura's expression darkened and the way he could feel his own heart clench at the lie.

"So, what? You're just sleeping around now?" Ashura accused, his words sharper than knives. For a moment, the impact of those words stole Fai's breath and kept him from defending himself.

"I thought you were better than that, Fai. How can you prove me wrong? Yuui wouldn't have acted like this; he should've been the one to survive that accident. There's only a boy living over there, right? Yuui would never let some guy screw him, especially someone he just met."

Ashura's dark eye were still flashing with anger, but he shut his mouth in a tight line and turned away. The smile of Fai's lips had gone stale, but he held it in place as he followed his cousin into the house and shut the door behind him.

He could feel moisture pricking the back of his eyes as he hurried to his room, and luckily no one stopped him. His parent's were passed out on the couch, reeking of whatever drugs they'd gotten into last, and Chii was only visible as a lump among her covers. Ashura had disappeared somewhere into the depths of the house.

Upon reaching his room, he closed the door behind his and slid down it. His knees stopped him, pressing against his forehead, and his hands were balled into fists against his eyes, trying to resist the tears he felt bearing down on him. A dry sob escaped him and he bit his lip to stop any more from passing.

"Yuui," he finally whispered. His body curled tighter, as if the name of his dead twin caused him physical pain. He knew Ashura was right, that Yuui should've been the one who lived through the accident that had started everything.

Yuui had died. Their parents had started their drink-and-drug binges. Ashura, whose father had walked out on him and his sick mother, had come to live with them, taking care of Chii and Fai himself. The only relief had been that Chii had been to young to remember the worst of the turmoil.

Fai, meanwhile, had been living with the guilt. What right did he have to escape it? He knew worse things would follow him and hurt anyone else he might come to care for.

"Kuro-chan..."


	5. Till You Pass Out So You Can Sleep It Of

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _5-Till You Pass Out So You Can Sleep It Off_

Kurogane glared down at the milk and soggy ceral in his bowl as if they had offended him. His mind, however, was filled with images of a pale face frozen into a mask of cheer. He replayed scenes from that morning, trying to figure out how he could have gotten Fai to stay longer.

A dark purple nugget of cereal floated to the top of the milk, drawing Kurogane's gaze. It made him uncomfortable, seeing the darkness against the white background of the milk. It was too much like the contrast of bruise against pale skin he'd seen so many times recently. He stirred the milk, hoping to push that particular piece back to the bottom of the bowl.

"Che, why the hell am I even worrying about that moron?" Kurogane asked aloud, his brows furrowing again. Fai's expression from the night before, apathetic and broken, flashed across him mind. His fist clenched in response, and he had to resist the urge to drive it into the wood of the table.

Kurogane gave up on trying to think; he could feel a dull ache beginning to throb in the back of his skull. Instead, he downed the rest of his breakfast and stood up, looking around for something that could take his mind off his neighbor's problems. A part of him asked when they had become his problems, and if he would always be a such a sucker for a beautiful face. He pushed the thoughts away and grabbed the shopping list he'd spotting hanging from the fridge.

Stepping onto the streets of the commercial district, he began to wonder if this had really been such a good idea. The last time he'd taken care of his shopping, he had been trying to avoid his new, annoying neighbor. Now, he was trying to avoid thoughts of the same person. He considered turning around and going home, but the memory of how empty his fridge looked these days kept him moving forward.

He frowned down at the list in his head, glad that he'd taken the car this morning. As much as he liked to improve his strength, he didn't think he had enough hands to carry everything he needed. He really should try not to neglect the shopping, busy or not.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, trying to decide whether food or booze was more important. Almost reluctantly, he chose food and walked into the nearest grocery store.

A familiar voice caught his attention as he frowned at a display of apples. Looking up, he spotted Sakura and the kid a few feet away. Sakura had been drawn in by some shiny trinket, and Syaoran was trying to tell her it was useless without upsetting her. Grabbing a few apples that looked decent at a glance, Kurogane approached them.

"Hey," he greeted in his usual gruff voice, drawing their wide-eyed gazes. Realizing he didn't have much of an excuse for approaching them other than wanting to forget his problems in their innocence, Kurogane glanced over Sakura's shoulder to see what she'd been attracted to.

"What is that, anyway?" he asked. The object was long and cylindrical, obviously made of black plastic and coated in shiny gold paint that flaked at the seams.

"It's a wand," Sakura told him excitedly, her green eyes flashing. She smiled up at him, while Syaoran smiled at her, albeit more weakly.

"And...what does it do?" Kurogane asked after a moment of silence. He hated disappointing the high-spirited girl as much as the kid did, but he really couldn't see a use for a plastic stick for anyone over the age of three.

"It can fix anything!" Sakura assured him; his comment didn't seem to have dampened her enthusiam at all. His gaze returned the the toy while Sakura talked. Suddenly, he wished there really was a wand that could fix anything, even Fai's problems.

Feeling like an idiot, he picked up two of the wands and put one in the basket that held his groceries. He handed the other to Sakura and turned away, hoping that if he left fast enough, they wouldn't see his blush.

Of course, he should have known he couldn't get away so easily.

"Kurogane-san!" Sakura called. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. He couldn't ignore Sakura-he would feel guilty for days, and Tomoyo would find some creative and disturbing way to punish him for slighting her best friend.

"Do you need that wand for something?" the slender brunette girl asked. Her brow was furrowed with worry, and Kurogane groaned mentally. He knew the question was Sakura's roundabout way of asking if anything was wrong.

"It's for a friend," he told her. It wasn't really a lie, although he'd never openly admit to actually being friends with a fake, annoying blond.

Sakura's expression cleared only a little. Kurogane had to admit, the girl had a big heart. Maybe Tomoyo was right to refer to her as a princess, despite the embarrassment it caused her.

"Can I help them?" Sakura asked. Syaoran's expression mirrored the interest she showed, and Kurogane knew he was just as ready to help as the girl he adored and protected.

"Nah," Kurogane told them, turning away again, "I don't know what his problem is." It was a lie, but he wasn't about to destroy their innocent outlook on the world.

"You haven't asked?" Sakura asked. She looked shocked, as if she couldn't imagine that anyone could see another's suffering and do nothing to help.

Kurogane frowned, glancing at her again. "He won't tell me," he admitted finally, his voice barely audible.

Sakura was quiet for a moment. Kurogane took a step forward, thinking the uncomfortable conversation was over.

"You should ask again," Sakura spoke suddenly, her voice soft at first, but growing louder with intensity, "You should keep asking, and don't stop until he tells you how you can help him!" Her eyes shone bright green with passion, and Kurogane couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah," he promised finally, "I will."

Standing on the street later, looking down at the plastic wand he still held despite making a couple trips back to the car, he wondered how he was going to keep that promise. Each time he dealt with Fai, it felt as if his resolve were being worn away, bit by bit. Nothing he did seemed to get through the thick walls of the seemingly empty skull.

He considered throwing the wand down into the gutter, but found his gaze drawn upward instead. In front of him was a small shop with a darkened interior. It seemed vaguely familiar, but he didn't recognize the pale boy sweeping the porch in his school uniform. As if he was being drawn in, Kurogane found his feet leading him toward the open door.

The boy looked up and, seeing him approach, leaned into the darkness and called someone. A woman appeared, tall and slender with long black hair that cascaded around her kimono-draped form. However, the was the smirk that crossed her lips and her cunning, heavily lidded eyes that helped Kurogane to place her.

"You!" he squawked, his dignity deserting him as he recognized the woman who had confronted him when his problems with the blond started.

"Ah, so you remember me," the woman observed, sounded smug despite the less-than-heartwarming greeting, "Well, that's more than I could have hoped for."

Kurogane sputtered, trying to form a coherent sentence from his jumbled thoughts. The boy stood nearby with a pair of girls with pink and blue hair, looking almost bored. Apparently he was used to seeing such situations with his employer.

"Alright then. You have a wish?" the woman-Yuuko, he remembered now-spoke again, interrupting his attempt at speech.

Remembering the wand in his hand, he fought down a blush. "No way," he replied gruffly, stuffing the toy in his back pocket.

Yuuko laughed. "I wasn't thinking of that," she told him, "If you didn't have a wish, you wouldn't have been drawn in here. You didn't come in by choice, did you?"

"What the hell?" he snapped, "You mean you had something to do with that?"

"More or less," she replied vaguely, shrugging, "Now, your wish?"

Kurogane frowned at her, still irritated by her insinuation. There was a moment of heavy silence, and he found himself thinking of her words. What was his wish?

 _Fai_... whispered the voice in the back of his head.

Almost without the conscious decision to speak, Kurogane found himself admitting, "I want to save someone."

"From what?" Yuuko asked, sounding intrigued, "A dragon? Evil wizards? Maybe the impending doom of a kingdom on the moon?"

"Are you crazy?" Kurogane yelled, wondering if she was making fun of him, "None of that crap exists!"

"You'd be surprised," she commented blithely, shrugging again. Kurogane glowered at her.

"Alright, I'll help you. You'll have to get the ball rolling yourself, but I can give you some advice, and I'll handle those nasty details at the end."

Before Kurogane could even ask what 'nasty details' there would be at whatever 'end' she was referring to, her smirk stopped him.

"For a price of course."

"Forget it," he scoffed, turning away, "I don't even know what the hell you're babbling about."

"So you don't want to save him?"

Kurogane froze. Hadn't he just said 'someone?'

"It's not a big price, but I will be interfering in family and legal matters," Yuuko continued in a light tone that belied the seriousness of the topic.

"What is it?" Kurogane asked, turning to face her again. He raised an eyebrow in response to her now calm expression.

"I want your word that you won't stop helping others once you get what you want," she told him seriously, "This boy isn't the only one in such a situation."

In disbelief, Kurogane studied her expression. He found nothing to suggest that she was lying. He thought about turning her down, wary of some outrageous bill waiting for him in the near future, but the thought of those haunted blue eyes from the night before tugged at his heart and conscience.

"Alright," he agreed. He didn't elaborate, but the woman's lips turned up in a satisfied smile.

"Go see him," she told him, "Don't wait for him to come to you. You can't win if you're always on the defensive, can you?"

She turned away without saying another word, and Kurogane let her go. The boy he'd seen upon entering the courtyard looked confused, his head turning to watch both Kurogane and his employer retreating. Kurogane left him to it, puzzling over the so-called 'advice.'

The fridge, now restocked, didn't give him any answers. Neither did the bathroom that had taken a full hour to clean from top to bottom. There were no answers in the pile of freshy-cleaned laundry either, or even in the dark windows of the house next door.

Sooner or later, Kurogane knew, he'd have to go over there and push for those answers. He was trying for later, but by three in the afternoon, he had run out of excuses, housework, and even homework-although whether that last could actually be considered finished was debatable.

"Fine, whatever," Kurogane told the empty house finally, "I'll get it over with."

It wasn't much of a pep talk, but it worked. Within moments, Kurogane was out the door and crossing the expanse of lawn between the houses that seemed to disappear under his feet all too quickly.


	6. Bloodshot Eyes Don't Tell the Truth

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _6-Bloodshot Eyes Don't Tell the Truth_

WIthout knowing why, Kurogane found himself knocking instead ringing the bell. He tried twice before the door finally creaked open, revealing a familiar false smile. It dropped as the blond recognized him, and wide blue eyes registered surprise.

"Kuro-chii?" He asked, keeping everything but cheer from his tone, "How nice of you to visit!" Despite the implication in the words, that lithe, pale body stayed firmly planted in the doorway.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to let me in?" he asked gruffly. It sounded a little too forward, but he knew he'd never get anywhere with Fai if he beat around the bush. That scrawny bastard was a pro at avoiding uncomfortable situations.

As predicted, Fai simply smiled and dodged the question. "What brings you here, Kuro-tan?"

His eye twitched at the nicknames, but, letting it go, Kurogane leaned into the blond's personal space. "Let me in and I'll tell you." He would never actually hurt Fai, especially knowing he'd been through more than his fair share of abuse already, but he let his tone convey his words as a threat anyway.

Fai's smile didn't stayed firmly in place. Kurogane knew it was too much to think that he might get to see the mask drop, but he'd been hopeful anyway.

"Silly Kuro-pon, you could just tell me out here!" The false note in Fai's voice was obvious now; Kurogane suspected that even Sakura, innocent and naive as she was, would notice if she were here. He had to smother a smirk, feeling pleased with himself for making the other nervous.

He gave up on words and decided to press his advantage. He closed the space between them, using his body to force Fai back. The blond retreated almost too quickly, as if afraid of letting their bodies touch. Kurogane watched him curiously, wondering how the same person who had kissed him so suddenly could be afraid of a little contact now. As if sensing his thoughts, Fai turned away, his mask slipping as the curtain of blond hid his expression from the taller male.

Now that he was actually inside the house, he took his gaze off his target to give their surroundings a cursory glance. His eyes widened as they fell upon the figure of a woman splayed across the couch.

She had long, blond hair that appeared to be about the same color as Fai's, but it was too stringy and dirty for him to be certain. Her skin looked as if it was stretched over her bony frame, as if there was no muscle or fat underneath to provide padding, and it looked barely a shade more human than paper. One leg, poking out from a disturbingly short skirt, had slipped over the edge of the couch, and one arm was flung above her head over the couch's arm. The color of her shirt was barely discernible as blue, mottled as it was by stains and age. A tray full of burned-out cigarettes and a bottle of pills rested on the table next to her.

Swallowing hard, he looked back down at Fai. He looked smaller now, skinny and deflated. He wouldn't look at Kurogane or speak, but he motioned for the dark-haired man to follow as he led the way back into the rest of the house.

Fai's room was surprisingly neat and organized, given his flighty false personality and the real one underneath that suggested such mundane tasks were pointless. Kurogane noted that the window faced his own, and remembered having seen Fai pass it several times while he was watching-not that he watched often, of course.

Fai fell back onto the bed, trying but failing to summon his usual smile. Instead, he produced a sort of grimace, but Kurogane didn't comment.

"Well, I'm sorry you had to see that," he chirped, as if he was referring to a messy room and not a woman with serious problems.

"Is that your mother?" Kurogane asked, trying to sound indifferent. The woman had seemed young, under all the damage she'd done to herself, but something told him she was older than she seemed.

"Ah-yes," Fai admitted. A flicker of sadness crossed his eyes, but he banished it.

Kurogane frowned. His own mother had been a strong, kind woman, more like a mother than the hag in the front room obviously was. But despite the differences, Kurogane could see that the importance of family tugged at the boy in front of him anyway. Still, he had to clear up the confusion that really bothered him.

"Is she the one who hits you?" he asked, his voice dropping even lower. He knew that many addicts could get temperamental under the influence and do things they wouldn't normally do-hurt people they would normally love.

Big, blue orbs gazed up at him, wide with surprise. "Of course not!" Fai insisted, all cheer erased by emphatic honesty, "Even when she's...like that...she doesn't do that..."

"Then your father?" he asked, wondering if the family was being supported by a man who dealt badly with stress and trying to keep his family in line. That lack of bruises on the pale, overexposed body of Fai's mother contradicted that theory, but Kurogane ignored that detail as he fished for long-awaited answers.

Fai shook his head. "He's just as bad," the blond replied in the falsely happy voice, "In fact, I bet he's passed out in the bedroom right now!"

Kurogane could feel his gaze soften as he watched the show the other was trying to put on. His gaiety was more forced than ever; Kurogane could here the obvious strain in his voice. His usually bright, crystilline blue orbs had become murky pools of desperation and hurt.

For some reason, seeing his aquaintance-because Kurogane still refused to call him a friend-looking so miserable reminded him of his father. Before his death, the older man had been a strong presence in his son's life. His memory represented strength, kindness, and an open mind, and Kurogane wished Fai could have someone like that in his life instead of people who cared more about forgetting their problems than their family.

Surpressing the urge to comfort the blond, knowing that he could only make things worse, Kurogane crossed his arms and tried to process the new information. It was a few moments before he realized he still didn't know where the bruises were coming from.

One look at the boy in front of him told him he wouldn't be getting anywhere with that line of questioning tonight.

"How long?" he asked instead, deciding to get as much as he could of what Fai apparently deemed a "safe" topic.

"Who knows?" Fai chirped. By now, Kurogane recognized that as the standard answer for an answer Fai didn't want to give. The guarded look had also returned to his eyes. Stumped again.

"Alright, whatever," he sighed, "just tell me what you want to. But that doesn't mean this conversation is over, got it?"

Fai looked up, his whole expression registering surprise. Kurogane thought he saw a flicker of hope, quickly supressed before he could be sure.

Then, as if the offer had been too good for Fai to believe, the blond seemed to withdraw again. Kurogane almost swore aloud.

"What else can I say?" Fai asked, his tone suggesting that they were discussion a joke rather than the nastier details of his life.

"Do you have any family living here? Other that those druggie parents of yours."

Fai flinched almost imperceptibly at the crude word choice, and Kurogane found himself regretting his "speak your mind" mentality. Maybe he should pay more attention to Tomoyo's ideas about subtlty.

Scratch that. The girl was about as subtle as a billboard.

"Chii's here," Fai admitted suddenly, "My cute little sister. And my cousin lives with us."

Kurogane noticed the lack of name provided for the cousin, but he ignored it in favor of raising an eyebrow at Fai's description of his sister. He had the guy pegged as gay, but maybe he had a sister complex? Apparently Sakura's older brother, Touya, didn't fill their neighborhood's quota.

"Your cousin?" he asked after mulling over the information. If the cousin was male, it might explain the situation. Fai seemed to dance around his words well enough to fool every girl he'd met, except maybe Tomoyo-not that she was prone to violence. He didn't think the age mattered much either, seeing as Fai was about as sturdy as paper.

He knew he was onto something when the act dropped completely. Fai stared straight ahead, his face blank, pink lips parted slightly.

Then he recovered, smiling up at Kurogane with a nervous laugh. "Of course," he replied smoothly, "Ah-he should be home soon, I think." Despite the light-hearted wink Fai finished with, Kurogane knew his words were both final word and warning. He frowned, but let it go. He wasn't going to get any more out of Fai on this visit.

"Fine, just...don't do anything stupid," he sighed, turning away. He heard the bed creak behind him as Fai started to rise. "I'll show myself out."

The house didn't look any better the second time through. Without a very distracting idiot in his line of sight, he was able to look around and see the mess that had been created in just a few short weeks. There were soiled clothes spilling out of one bedroom at the end of the hall, which Kurogane assumed belonged to Fai's parents. Pictures hung crooked on the walls, and there was a black smear on one wall as if someone with dirty hands had tripped and tried to catch himself on the smooth surface. The blonde woman was still sprawled out in the front room, exactly where she'd been left.

The click of the front door's latch sounded just a little too final for Kurogane's liking as he shut it behind himself.


	7. Abandoned Drives Lead to Abuse

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _7-Abandoned Drives Lead To Abuse_

For some reason, the car wouldn't start. He could hear the engine turning over, but it just wouldn't catch. Kurogane glared at the dull silver metal of the vehicle that had once been his father's, wishing for the first time that he'd taken mechanics instead of kendo.

"Freakin' piece of shit," he growled, leaning on the car with one hand while the fingers of the other dug into his hip. He could feel his eyebrow twitching with irritation, and more than once he had to stop himself from running a greasy hand through his hair.

The rough, throaty sound of an engine pulling up next door drew his attention away from his own vehicle. He looked up to see an old sedan with peeling red paint pulling up to the house. He'd seen it before, but never in motion.

His eyebrows raised in barely expressed surprise as a young man with long, black hair and skin as pale as Fai's stepped out. _So that's the cousin, huh?_ he guessed.

He wasn't prepared for cold, dark eyes to suddenly lock on his over the faded red top of the car. He frowned, feeling an instinctive dislike for this person who somehow managed to look simultaneously detached and smug. His pride refused to let him break the other's gaze, resulting in an impromptu staring contest.

Without warning, the paler of the two smirked. Kurogane blinked, caught off guard.

"Hello," Fai's cousin began smoothly, apparently deciding on the polite approach, "I don't believe we've met. My name is Ashura."

 _He sounds like a prick_ , Kurogane decided. Nevertheless, he responded with a gruff "Kurogane."

Something like a smile passed over Ashura's features, although it looked almost bitter and painful. Kurogane, following Ashura's example of etiquette, tried not to scowl.

"I believe you've met my cousin, Fai," he noted flippantly. His voice was carefully offhand, but Kurogane's ears, as observant as his eyes, picked up the threat underneath.

"Yeah?" Kurogane challenged, the word acting as both question and acknowledgement.

Ashura stepped around his vehicle and made his way toward Kurogane, moving with the grace of someone who belonged in high society rather than the rundown house next door. Kurogane straightened up, cautious but trying not to let his aggression show in order to learn more about the man coming toward him.

Ashura stopped a couple feet in front of him, close enough to appear threatening while keeping his distance in case Kurogane acted out. The corner of Kurogane's mouth twitched with a mixture of respect and disappointment. Whatever this man did, he certainly knew how to handle himself.

"I hope he hasn't been bothering you," Ashura told him, and it took Kurogane a moment to realize he was referring to Fai, "I'm afraid he doesn't mind his manners very well."

"And it's your job to keep him in line?" Kurogane asked, his tone barbed.

Instead of flinching or even frowning like Kurogane expected any normal person might, Ashura just flashed him a smooth smile. What was wrong with this family anyway?

"My cousin doesn't always know where to draw the line with his stories," the pale man explained airily, "If he's given you the wrong idea about anything, I apologize." The explanation was so smooth and effortless; Kurogane suspected it had been rehearsed. His smile also gave the appearance of being reassuring, but it was more superficial than Fai's ever-present mask.

Kurogane considered pointing out that his information hadn't come from the stories told by Fai's mouth, but the one painted on his skin. He caught himself at the last moment. If he continued to accuse Ashura, he wouldn't be able to get information from either him or Fai. He wasn't sure if he was impressed by the family's secret-keeping or simply annoyed by it, especially since neither of the men who'd lied to him were particularly good at it. Instead, he shrugged.

Something flickered in Ashura's dark eyes, but his smile stayed firmly in place. "I see," he murmured, taking a step back, "Well, it was…nice to meet you."

Kurogane nodded, and Ashura turned away with a small, flippant wave. Kurogane watched him striding back over the thick green grass strip separating the two houses. It seemed as if he wanted to get away as fast as possible, but he didn't want to let go of any of his dignity as he did so. Kurogane's lip curled. He couldn't stand anyone who held their pride above the welfare of others.

When the door finally closed behind the man, Kurogane looked away. He glanced at his car's engine one last time before giving up with a sigh, slamming the hood shut.

He stepped back into the house, taking a moment just inside the door to take a deep breath and organize his thoughts. The slamming of the door seemed to echo in the silence of the house around him. He wasn't sure why, but the place had seemed a lot less friendly since that annoyance had moved in next door. It was still his home, still a place to be comfortable and relax with a beer or two, but it seemed somehow…empty.

For a moment, he let himself imagine what it would be like to have Fai around more often. The first thing that came to mind was "annoying"—he quickly banished the idea, trying to thing a little deeper than that. The next thing that came to mind was that he would be able to protect Fai better. The fact that he couldn't help him now made his heart ache, something he hadn't felt in several years. It made him uncomfortable and he shook the thought away, deciding it really wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now.

He lifted his hand to run it through his hair again, his usual way of dealing with stress, and barely caught himself when he saw the black smears of greases streaked across his palm. He frowned, wondering just how close he was to becoming as scatter-brained as the idiot next door or even Sakura.

As he scrubbed the grease from his hands, his mind wandered back to the little girl down the street. It had been a while since he'd seen her, and from what he'd heard from Tomoyo, she'd seemed tired lately. He hated to sound like a sap, but he wondered if maybe it was time to host some kind of little party at his house in the near future. Everyone seemed to need a release from stress at the moment.

Scoffing at his own idea, Kurogane shook his head to clear it. His gaze landed on his fridge, fully stocked for once. However, the thought of shopping brought to mind the woman he'd been seeing lately downtown and their "trade."

Feeling a little calmer and more objective, Kurogane slid into one of the little-used chairs at his kitchen table. There was a small, blank pad of paper on the table, and he pulled it toward himself along with the pen next to it. He tapped the tip of the pen on the snowy expanse of the paper, leaving behind tiny, dark stains as he thought.

What could he do to make Fai comfortable? He had a long way to go before the blond could even begin to trust again, but he had to start somewhere. He suspected he had already glimpsed more than Fai usually let his acquaintances see, which was a start.

The paper was still blank several hours later, when loud meowing from the front porch alerted him to the presence of Sakura's white cat, Mokona.

"What does that thing want now?" Kurogane grumbled with the attitude of someone who had been hard at work.

He strode quickly through the dark house, noticing for the first time how late it was—streetlights lit up stripes across his floor as their yellow-orange beams peeked through his blinds. He didn't bother to turn a light on as he opened the door. He'd heard stories about men waiting on dark porches to attack, but he felt he could handle it if anything was waiting on the other side of the door with Mokona.

He opened the door just a crack, expecting the cat to slip through the opening as he usually did. When he didn't, Kurogane opened the door wider to see what kept him from doing so. The view on the porch surprised him.

Fai sat on the steps of his porch, his head down and his shoulders slumped. The light of the closest streetlight caught his hair, which looked stringy and unkempt. His shirt looked too loose on his slight frame, making Kurogane wonder if he'd lost weight. Mokona pressed against the boy, but the blond didn't respond. The whole scene caused Kurogane's heart to leap to his throat.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, more harshly than he might have if he'd taken the time to think about it.

Fai jumped and spun around, looking up at Kurogane with wide, vulnerable blue eyes.

"I…he began, but he seemed at a loss for words. The two didn't move for a few moments, just staring at each other. Finally, Kurogane took a step back into his house.

"Come on in," he sighed, though there was no real exasperation in his voice.

"Are you sure?" Fai asked hesitantly, more uncertain than Kurogane had ever seen him. He was about to snap at the blond when his eyes picked up a new patch of dark discoloration along Fai's jaw.

His own jaw clenched, then relaxed. He tried not to let the disgust he felt affect the way he treated the fragile boy.

"Yeah," he said softly. Still hesitant, Fai stood and made his way over to Kurogane. He paused for a moment, not looking at the darker-haired man.

"Thank you," he whispered. Kurogane grunted noncommittally, but blushed. He wasn't sure he'd ever been more grateful for darkness.

Kurogane followed him into the house. The blond settled himself on the edge of the couch, still averting his eyes.

Kurogane didn't say anything. He knew Fai wouldn't open up without prompting, but he didn't have the heart to pry while the blond looked so fragile. Instead, he crossed his arms and watched Fai from where he leaned against the wall directly opposite the couch.

Fai didn't look at him for a moment. Instead, his blue eyes ran nervous sweeps along the edge of the coffee table, though Kurogane doubted he was actually seeing the dark wood in front of him.

When the silence had dragged on long enough to make the host uncomfortable, he cleared his throat. Fai jumped as if he had forgotten he wasn't alone, and the usual fake smile spread almost instinctively over his paler-than-usual features.

Kurogane sighed and straightened up, pulling himself away from the wall. While Fai watched with a blank expression and guarded eyes, he made his way over to the couch where the blond sat and perched on the arm, facing the target of his protective instincts.

"What are you going to do?" Kurogane asked when the silence had dragged on beyond his liking.

Fai looked surprised by the question; his blue eyes widening before he quickly regained control of his expression. "What do you mean, Kuro-chii?" he asked, his tone bright with false curiosity.

Kurogane frowned, his lips narrowing into a thin, hard line. His red eyes burned into Fai's cool blue ones, wordlessly pressing for an answer. The blond's eyes shifted uncomfortably, but his body remained motionless.

Finally, Kurogane sighed and leaned forward, invading Fai's personal space.

"Look," he began, his voice barely above a rough growl, "I can't help you if you don't tell me how."

The false cheer left Fai's face, but the curve of his lips remained. He smiled sadly at Kurogane, but it didn't reach his eyes. The look came as close as anything ever had to scaring Kurogane—it looked so dangerously empty. The urge to take Fai into his arms struck him, but he resisted it.

"You live here alone, right?" Fai asked suddenly.

Kurogane frowned, not understanding the sudden change of subject. He sat back, watching Fai with the same guarded expression the other had given him only moments before. He had no idea where the blond was going with this. Finally, he gave a short, quick nod.

Fai opened his mouth to ask something else, but seemed to think better of his words and hesitated. Then his expression hardened, and he asked, "What about your parents?"

Kurogane's stomach lurched; he hadn't expected the conversation to take such a personal term. He had to admit that he couldn't really blame Fai though. After all, Kurogane had been trying to get into his head for weeks now, even months. "They're not around anymore," he replied quickly, his voice rough.

"But you loved them, right? You'd do anything for them, right?" Fai asked. Now he was the one leaning into Kurogane's bubble of personal space, and cerulean eyes probed crimson.

"Of course," Kurogane snapped. He was about to question where this line of interrogation was going when Fai suddenly leaned back, distracting him.

"Then you should understand," Fai told him quietly, smiling sadly down at his lap.

Kurogane blinked. At first he didn't see what Fai meant, but before he could say anything, the idea clicked. It was Fai's loyalty to his family that kept him from turning on them and trying to leave. He was on his own it that—abused by his cousin, practically abandoned by addicted parents, and probably feeling like he had to protect his younger sister.

They sat in silence for a several long moments.

"Ah, I think it's time for me to go," Fai chirped suddenly, disrupting the pensive mood that permeated the room. He hopped to his feet, cheer firmly back in place, and nearly skipped to the door. Kurogane watched him go, feeling conflicted but not saying a word. Fai waved when he reached the door, then pulled it open and disappeared into the darkness.


	8. I Won't Let You Get Away So Soon

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _8-I Won't Let You Get Away So Soon_

Two nights later, there was a weak knock on Kurogane's bedroom window. Kurogane, who was sitting hunched over a page of math problems at his desk, hand fisted in his hair, looked up. The light in the room caused the surface of the window to become reflective, and he couldn't see who was on the other side. He had a pretty good idea of who it might be, and the fact that this was his bedroom and not the front door motivated him to move more quickly as he stood and moved across the room to open the window.

Sure enough, Fai was on the other side. Kurogane's breath escaped him for a moment when the light from the room fell across the other boy, lighting up his messy, pale blond hair. A bruise was quickly forming on his delicate cheekbone, and something that looked suspiciously like blood was smeared near the corner of his lips.

In an almost trance-like state, Fai climbed through the window while Kurogane stood back. Fai stopped just inside, and Kurogane took control. He shut the window, then steered the blond over to the bed and sat him down on the edge. His hair fell over his eyes, forming a pale curtain Kurogane couldn't see through. Pushing his sense of propriety aside, he stripped off Fai's shirt to see what damage lay underneath.

It didn't look any worse than usual, but there was a dark, suspicious bruise over Fai's ribs that looked recent and unsettling. He touched it softly with his fingertips. Fai shivered, but didn't move away.

Exploring further, Kurogane discovered small cuts on Fai's arms that bled sluggishly. There was some kind of dark debris in them, as if from gravel. He also seemed to be thinner than Kurogane remembered; his ribs protruded slightly and his cheeks looked hollow. Kurogane let out a growl under his breath, wondering what the hell had been happening next door.

Moving quickly, hoping his momentum might carry away his anger, Kurogane went to the bathroom and ran a towel under a stream of warm water. He wrung it out before bringing it back to Fai and dabbing the wounds gently with it. Fai didn't even flinch, but Kurogane was careful anyway. He didn't want the debris to lodge any further into the wounds and potentially cause problems.

It wasn't long before a fairly large patch of red stained the washcloth. Kurogane frowned down at it, thinking of the last time he hadn't been able to help someone he cared about. He'd been young when his parents died, but he still couldn't help but feel that he could have done more for them.

Feeling selfish for indulging in personal thoughts at a time like this, he shook them away and refocused his attention on the boy in front of him. He paused for a moment and studied Fai's face. The boy wasn't looking at him; instead, he stared into space ahead of him as if he couldn't see anything around him. His gorgeous blue eyes were dull.

Kurogane felt as if his heart were constricting. Fai may have been faker than the U.S.-Japan negotiations before Pearl Harbor, but even then his eyes had always held a spark of life that drew Kurogane to him.

He straightened when he finished cleaning the boy's wounds and stepped back, wondering what else he could do. An unconscious sigh on Fai's part drew Kurogane's attention back to his ribs. Assuring the blond that he would be back in just a few minutes, he left the room and headed for the kitchen.

There, he dug a TV dinner out of the freezer and microwaved it, tapping his foot impatiently. He nearly burned his fingers on the plastic when he tried to pull it out the moment the timer went off. Cursing under his breath, he glanced around toward the hallway leading back to his room. He didn't want Fai trying to slip out while he wasn't around. It was almost surprising that the blond wasn't hanging over his shoulder.

He returned to the room with the warm food to find Fai sitting exactly where Kurogane had left him. Sighing, he moved slowly across the room, giving Fai time to acknowledge his presence. The blond didn't move, but somehow Kurogane knew the other was aware of him.

He perched on the edge of the bed, setting the food in his lap and waiting for a moment to see if Fai would make a move toward it on his own. When he didn't, Kurogane sighed again.

"You have to eat," he told the blond, his voice soft but firm. He slid the plastic tray from his legs onto the skinnier ones beside him, keeping his hand on it to make sure it didn't fall.

Slowly, Fai stirred and seemed to come to life. Almost hesitantly, he reached out and took hold of the fork that stuck out of the tray at an angle. He glanced at Kurogane, his expression somewhere between shy and questioning. Kurogane offered a tiny smile, but turned away before Fai could see the color beginning to rise in his face.

Fai raised the fork almost tentatively to his lips. The moment it reached his mouth, it seemed as if his hunger took over and he began shoveling the contents of the tray into his mouth. Kurogane's hand hovered over his back, fearing that the blond would begin choking if he wasn't carefully.

"Slow down," he grumbled, trying to hide his concern with his usual gruff nature. Fai glanced at him and reduced the speed of his eating, although it looked like a conscious effort.

The meal seemed to be bringing the color back to his face. His eyes looked brighter, which was possibly the biggest relief to Kurogane. Feeling a little better about the blond's condition, Kurogane let himself sit back and observe the blond without worrying about his injuries for once.

However annoying he was, Fai was beautiful. His hair was still stringy and dirty, and his skin was sallow, but he had a grace that went beyond his appearance. He was tall, though not as tall as Kurogane, and his body brought dancers to mind. Kurogane could feel his gaze softening as he watched the blond sit back, wiping at his mouth.

"You can sleep here tonight," Kurogane told him, gesturing to the bed. It was the logical next step, and one of the few things Kurogane could still give him. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, that was yet another thing that had been giving Fai trouble lately.

Fai looked up at him with wide eyes. The look quickly faded back into nonchalance, but Kurogane couldn't help but wonder if Fai was really so unfamiliar with kind gestures.

Ignoring the uneasy feeling in his stomach, Kurogane distracted himself by reaching to take the empty tray from the other boy. Fai let it slip from his limp fingers, which fell into his own lap. Kurogane set the tray aside and gently pushed the boy back into the softness of the mattress. Fai slumped into it almost willingly, and Kurogane tugged the blankets out from underneath his underweight form to cover him instead. Satisfied, he turned to leave.

"Wait."

Fai's unexpected speech, though quiet, seemed to echo through the room. Kurogane stopped his movements immediately, but he didn't turn until the blond spoke again.

"Ashura…" the blond began again, though he seemed lost for words, "he…doesn't mean to…"

Kurogane couldn't help himself; he snorted. He could hear the springs of the bed creak as Fai jumped at the unexpected sound, but otherwise there was only silence.

"He lands a fist on your ribs as hard as he can, and you say he doesn't mean it?" he continued when Fai remained silent, "What, does he think you're a stuffed toy or something that can't feel it."

"No," Fai tried again, "He doesn't want to do it, but how else would he keep me in line?"

Kurogane turned then, staring at Fai in disbelief. Did the airheaded blond have Stockholm syndrome or something?

"It's my fault, after all," Fai continued, "Nothing would have happened to Yuui if it wasn't for me."

"Who is Yuui?" Kurogane asked gently, keeping his voice low in case his sudden speech might scare Fai out of his sudden sharing mood.

There was silence for a moment. Fai seemed to be deep in thought. Finally he spoke, his voice little more than a whisper.  
"Yuui was my brother," he rasped, "my twin brother."

Kurogane couldn't deny that the revelation surprised him. The use of past-tense also set his senses on edge. He waited to hear more.

Fai took a deep, shaky breath and went on, his eyes glazing over as he slipped back into the past.

"We were in the car. Mommy was mad at me, but I don't remember why." Kurogane lifted a brow, surprised; he hadn't expected Fai's vocabulary to regress as he told his story. More than that, it seemed almost as if Fai wasn't in the room anymore. Instead, he was watching the events of that day in the car replay before his eyes.

"Yuui and Ashura were quiet, but I was giving Mommy a lot of trouble. She kept threatening to turn the car around. She started to slow down, to turn, but then she screamed. There was a loud crash because someone hit her side of the car, behind her seat. That's where Yuui was."

He was quiet again. His eyes were fixed on Kurogane's pillow, but the dark-haired boy doubted he really saw it.

"They said the other driver was drunk," Fai continued finally, "They said Yuui died on impact. Mommy cried. Ashura answered the questions the police had."

He drifted off into silence again. Kurogane waited for several long moments, but Fai didn't speak again. Finally, Kurogane sighed.

"You can't blame yourself for that," he told the unresponsive blond, his voice approaching the most comforting tone it ever took on, "If anything, the drunk driver is the one to blame.

Fai shot him a glare in response, suddenly showing more venom that Kurogane had even thought him capable of. It quickly passed, however, and Fai was left dull-eyed again.

Finally, Kurogane stood. He gently pushed Fai down to the bed, met with no resistance. He bent over the blond, ruby eyes searching the pale, emotionless face. Finally, he sighed and pulled away. He pulled a light blanket over Fai and left, turning off the light on his way out.

Kurogane closed the door behind him and leaned against it, taking deep breaths. He could feel his muscles trembling with pent-up tension; Fai's story had left him somewhere between numb and furious. No child should ever have to go through something like that, and to take the blame on himself…

Shaking his head, Kurogane continued to the living room. He considered turning on the TV and watching reruns of game shows until he fell asleep, but when his eyes landed on his laptop, he knew what he would be doing. He pulled the device onto his lap and opened it up, typing "Flourite car crash" into the search engine.

The very first article on the page contained all the answers he was looking for. The crash had occurred when Fai and his brother were just four and their cousin, Ashura, was seven. They had been on their way to the hospital where Ashura's mother lay dying. Kurogane felt that the situation explained Ashura's behavior, but in no way excused it.

Yuui wasn't the only one who had died on the scene. The other driver had smashed headfirst into the window. According to the coroner, the cause of death was a broken neck. The report also noted that the man's blood-alcohol level was nearly three times the legal limit.

Kurogane sat back, numbness finally taking over. Sometimes the world left him feeling hopeless, as if no matter how hard he tried, he wouldn't be able to save anyone. As his time in high school came to an end, that idea seemed to be hitting him harder and harder. He had no idea what to do with the rest of his life. All he wanted was to help people, and he didn't even know how to do that.

Finally, he closed the laptop and set it aside, stretching out on the couch with his back to the world.


	9. Crush Me Up, I'm Your Amphetamine

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _9-Crush Me Up, I'm Your Amphetamine_

It was a surprisingly gentle knock on his front door that woke Kurogane the next morning. He rolled off the couch and stretched, feeling his blunt nails scratch his scalp gently as part of a familiar morning ritual. There was a pain in his neck and a dull throb across his hip and shoulder, but he ignored them as he stumbled around the couch and pulled the door open.

Ashura stood on the other side. It couldn't have been past nine in the morning—on a Sunday, no less—but the other man looked like he'd gotten dressed for tea with royalty. His long hair gleamed in the sunlight, not a strand out of place, and he wore a white button-down shirt with black slack, which, Kurogane happened to notice, were perfectly creased. His dark eyes ran up and down Kurogane's own form, clearly judging what he saw.

Kurogane couldn't say he blamed him either. There were probably circles under his eyes, and he could feel a dry patch at the corner of his mouth that must have been drool. His short, spiky hair was probably messier than usual and it was probably flat on one side. His clothes were definitely going to be wrinkled as well, seeing as he'd slept in them.

"My cousin wouldn't happen to be here, would he?" Ashura asked finally in a tone that was too smooth for Kurogane's liking. He didn't say anything about the other's appearance, but he didn't have to—the look in his eyes did the talking for him on that front.

Kurogane just stared at him for a moment. He knew it probably wouldn't do any good to lie, but he couldn't bring himself to just tell the other that Fai was there. The silence dragged on, balancing on the line between awkward and hostile.

"Kuro-chan?" came a familiar voice from behind him suddenly, "Whoever could be coming to your door this early in the—"

He broke off as he suddenly spotted his cousin over Kurogane's shoulder. In the reflection in the window next to the door, Kurogane could see the beautiful sapphire eyes widen in the pale face. The fakest smile he'd seen yet quickly followed, and a part of Kurogane cringed inwardly.

"Good morning, Ashura," the blond chirped as if he hadn't just been caught in a possibly awkward situation by the last person either of them wanted to see.

"Good morning, Fai," Ashura replied. Kurogane could tell he was trying to make his voice sound warm, but the ice underneath was obvious even with their essentially nonexistent relationship. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Of course," Fai assured his cousin. He straightened the pale blue t-shirt he wore, which was just as wrinkled as Kurogane's. Kurogane caught the suspicious glance Ashura swept over the pair of them, but he ignored it. They had done nothing wrong, from his point of view or anyone else's.

As Fai passed him, Kurogane couldn't stop himself from murmuring, "It wasn't your fault."

Fai stiffened, but he didn't stop. He didn't even slow or glance at Kurogane, which the darker-haired man found a bit insulting, considering the work he'd put into finding the rest of the story. Instead, Fai simply followed his cousin out the door, and Kurogane let him go.

Despite the recent turmoil in his life, school on Monday seemed almost like a return to normal for Kurogane. As usual, the teacher drawled on and on, and as usual, Kurogane ignored him in favor of staring across the room at Fai. He wasn't even trying to be secretive about it anymore. Fai, on the other hand, was mostly ignoring him. Every now and again he would look up and wink or something equally flirtatious, causing giggles to go rippling through the female population in the room. Still, Kurogane was less than convinced about the boy's health.

He'd seen the way Ashura treated him, and in a way, it scared him. He couldn't imagine treating Tomoyo like that; it just wasn't what family did. Fai's unfaltering loyalty to his family, despite the treatment he received—or lack thereof, in the case of his parents—threw him off sometimes.

When lunch came, Kurogane headed up to the roof. For once, he didn't wait for Fai. He wanted to clear his head, and he didn't think he could do that with the annoyance actually in his presence. His head felt thick, as if his thoughts were low-hanging clouds on a stormy day.

The roof was empty, as he'd both hoped and expected. There was a chill in the air, but it didn't bother Kurogane. He figured it might help clear his head; after all, wasn't that why people meditated under waterfalls? He pulled his jacket tighter around him and sat on an overturned crate, running his calloused hands over his face.

He stared out at the buildings around them, trying to clear his mind. He studied the sharp angles of the windows and the corners of the buildings, focusing on that and not letting himself think of anything else for a few moments. Then, finally, when he felt calmer, he cast his mind back to the first time he'd met Fai.

Even then, something hadn't seemed right about the other. He was too cheerful, and something about him annoyed Kurogane more than anyone he'd even met. He'd never exactly been a social butterfly, but he was better at reading people at a glance than most of his acquaintances had ever given him credit for. In a way, it was almost a survival skill—something his father had taught him before he and Kurogane's mother had died.

Still, his protective instinct seemed to be working overtime with Fai. He couldn't understand why, and he'd been avoiding the problem for weeks now.

He tried to focus, but somehow his mind kept coming back to something else he'd been blocking out. Fai had kissed his cheek once to avoid being questioned, but the sensation had never really left him. Then, later, he himself had kissed the blond as an almost instinctive, comforting gesture. His lips tingled as he thought about it, playing an accompaniment to the sinking feeling in his stomach.

He wanted to shut out those thoughts again, but he knew better than to avoid his problems. Instead, he laid them out on a mental table and began his examination.

He'd never been particularly affectionate toward anyone except Tomoyo and the kids. There had never been anyone his age that had drawn his attention this way. He resented Fai's manufactured cheer, but at the same time it caught and held his attention. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he realized he might actually be attracted to the ditzy, self-loathing blond.

He groaned and leaned forward, letting his head hang as he propped his elbows on his knees. Despite the unwelcome realization, he had never been one for running from his feelings.

"Kuro-chan!" called a light, familiar voice suddenly.

The muscles in Kurogane's shoulders tightened and his teeth clenched. He considered saying something to Fai about his thoughts, but quickly discarded the idea. Not only was he still uncomfortable with his own feelings, he was sure it would send Fai running.

"What the hell do you want now?" he snapped instead, shooting the idiot a half-hearted glare.

Fai practically danced across the space between them, rambling about cats and alcohol and other nonsense in a sing-song tone. Kurogane tried to block him out, but the other's tone grated on his nerves and he soon found himself shouting, as usual. All his earlier thoughts had been driven from his mind within moments of the blond's arrival.

"Hey, you too!" called a voice suddenly, interrupting their warped sort of 'conversation,' "Get back to class! You're not supposed to be up here!"

Kurogane looked up to see Kusanagi-sensei standing by the open door to the roof, looking stern but not angry. It wasn't quite time for their class to begin just yet, but Kurogane knew better than to argue with the older man. Taking Fai by the arm, he dragged him toward the door. Kusanagi-sensei let them pass with nothing more than a suspicious glance.

Rivulets of water ran down Kurogane's chest as he stepped out of the show that night, shaking the water from his hair. He wrapped his well-worn black towel around his waist and moved to his room. He could feel water drying off his exposed skin as he walked, which was somewhat refreshing.

His room was dark; he didn't bother to flick the light on as he entered. A soft glow illuminated the space from the window, and Kurogane realized that Fai's light was on in his room. He peered out across the stretch of grass separating them, his heart pounding as he wondered what he would catch a glimpse of, if anything.

He grimaced as his thoughts from earlier in the day returned to him. At the moment, his body was clearly telling him that his mind had been right. Somehow, he found himself wishing that he'd been wrong, or at least that he was still oblivious.


	10. I'll Keep You Up So You Cannot Dream

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _10-I'll Keep You Up So You Cannot Dream_

Fai was lost in his thoughts as he made his way up the porch stairs after school that day. Needless to say, he was caught completely unaware when he reached out for the door handle and the door flew open under his fingertips to reveal Ashura.

The elder cousin stood frowning down at him, his eyes like chips of ice. Fai gulped, he could practically feel knuckles meeting his tender skin in just the way the other was looking at him. It was the look Ashura wore when he'd discovered something about Fai that displeased him.

"How was your day?" Ashura asked conversationally. His body language was nonchalant, but his voice was too sweet, too cheerful; it fell on Fai's ears like slimy old gym socks.

Instinctively, Fai stepped back. Ashura's eyes caught the movement and hardened. Trying to recover his mask, Fai smiled shakily up at the darker-haired man.

"Oh, you know how it is," he replied in a tone saturated with false cheer, "How was yours? How are Mom and Dad?"

The reference to Fai's so-called parental figures brought an interesting response from Ashura. He looked torn between rolling his eyes and showing either sadness or surprised. Fai usually didn't bring up his parents with his cousin. Instead of answering either question, Ashura simply made a graceful gesture as if to wave them away.

"I saw you today," Ashura commented suddenly. His tone was conversational now, but the look in his eyes hadn't changed. If Fai let himself, he would have been afraid of where the seemingly offhand comment was going. It couldn't be anywhere good if Ashura had brought it up, much less confronted him at the door.

"Checking up on me, were we?" he asked cheerfully. He was curious as to when Ashura had been around, but too cautious to ask directly. The dark smile that answered his flippant question told him he was right to be afraid.

"Something like that," Ashura replied mildly. He stepped aside to let Fai into the house beyond his imposing figure. Fai knew that was usually the sign that Ashura wouldn't restrain himself to simply verbal abuse, and his heart sank. If Ashura was done with him, he would just walk away and leave Fai alone. Clearly, however, he wasn't done. With a sinking heart, Fai forced a smile onto his face and pranced into the darkness of the hallway behind his cousin.

Closing the door behind them, Ashura turned and followed Fai to the kitchen, pausing only to curl his lip at the petite, dirty mess hanging over the side of the couch that was Fai's mother.

"The boy next door," Ashura began, his tone dark, imploring, and borderline accusing.

Fai dropped his bag into one of the wooden chairs around the table, which groaned under the meager weight of his textbooks. He turned to look at Ashura, who let his words hang ominously in the air between them.

"Yes?" Fai asked finally, raising one slim, pale eyebrow, "What about him?"

"He goes to your school," Ashura continued finally, the beginnings of frustration creeping into his voice and the look in his eyes, "You know him."

Fai continued to give him the same blank smile. "Of course!" he chirped, "I mean, you should always know who lives next door to you, right? Isn't that what they say about asylums?"

Ashura rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop himself from correcting Fai. "The saying goes, 'When you live next door to an asylum, you need to keep an eye on the inmates."

Fai just shrugged noncommittally. "Same thing," he told Ashura. It was a little brasher than Fai usually was with the other man, but he was nervous as to what this confrontation was about. Fortunately, Ashura seemed to let it slide.

His nervous energy prompted him in open the fridge, looking through the contents despite his lack of hunger. Really, he just wanted to busy himself with something while Ashura took his sweet time getting to the point of this confrontation.

"Tell me," Ashura said suddenly, after the room had been quiet for several long moments, "Isn't there a school rule about the roof? Something about not being on it without permission?"

Fai's blood froze. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't this. His mind flashed back to that morning, to when he and Kuro-wan had been on the roof during their lunch break. He felt himself relax slightly as he came to the conclusion that he hadn't been too forward during that particular encounter. There was nothing he couldn't explain away as his usual overbearing exterior.

"I'm sure there is somewhere," he replied instead, smiling into the depths of the refrigerator, despite the fact that he was sure his cousin couldn't see his face.

"And whose permission did you have?" Ashura continued, his voice still too sweet, "That man who came out after you? He didn't look too pleased to see you and your friend."

Fai shrugged. "I was just looking for Kuro-Kurogane. He's the one who wandered off," he lied easily. It was easier than telling the truth at this point. For a second, Fai was plagued by the black hole-like feeling in his chest that sometimes overcame him whenever he realized how much of his life he spent lying.

Ashura sniffed, looking down his long, pale nose at Fai. His cold blue eyes seemed to assess the tall blond who faced him, giving nothing away. Finally, he snorted softly and turned away.

"Of course, you would keep the company of people with such dubious morality. It's only to be expected from someone like you."

Fai smiled, not allowing himself to show how much Ashura's words hurt him despite their familiarity.

There was another long silence in the room. Fai wondered if Ashura had made his point yet, or if there was more on the way. It seemed like there would be more, seeing as the darker-haired man hadn't left the room yet. Fai watched him warily out the the corner of his eye, still looking through the kitchen for a snack he didn't want.

Instead of continuing the lecture or whatever it was that Ashura had been building up to, the older of the two pulled a rickety chair away from the table and seated himself gracefully, apparently focusing on the grain of the wood in front of him as he folded his hands on the table in front of him. Silence permeated the room, making Fai uncomfortable enough to fidget slightly. It usually took a lot to coax even that much out of him.

"How do you feel about him? This neighbor of...ours?" Ashura asked finially. His face screwed up as he spoke, as if he was disgusted by mere association with the man next door. Fai couldn't understand why. If anyone fit the "tall, dark, and handsome" stereotype, it was Kuro-puppy.

"He's a little slow," Fai replied easily, barely smothering a giggle. He could feel Ashura's eyes on him, but he was sure his answer couldn't be seen as incriminating in any way. He was simply stating a fact, not declaring the undying love he most definitely did not feel.

"As in, he doesn't realize how you feel?" Ashura prompted, his eyes boring into the other sapphires across the room.

Fai let his surprise show at that remark. "What-"

Ashura cut him off with a snarl. "Don't labor under the delusion that you're so clever," he snapped, "I can see how you look at that oaf. Even if you don't deserve someone with class, I'm shocked that you would let yourself be taken in by filth like that. Didn't I raise you better?"

Ashura's voice was low and nasty, and his features were screwed up until his expression looked almost bestial. Fai gaped at him, any hurt he felt from the words was buried under a thick layer of honest shock. His mind had come to a shuddering halt under the weight of the accusations.

Ashura continued to rant, but as his brain slowly shifted back into gear, Fai tuned him out.

The one thing that confused him the most was how Ashura had seen his feelings when he hadn't even been aware of them himself. Ashura knew his act, so he couldn't have been taken in by it. If he saw something, it had to be real.

Reality. Truth. That, more than anything else, scared Fai. Despite the constant reminders, he continued to run from the truth of his past. He tried to forget while simultaneously trying to keep anything like it from happening again. The pain scared him.

And now, he had somehow let himself end up in this position where a man he barely knew could hurt him worse than anyone with only a handful of words.

Swallowing hard, he turned his head in an almost robotic fashion to look through the open doorway at his mother. She lay sprawled on the couch, one arm hanging off the side. Even at this distance, Fai could see the bruises on the inside of her arm. Long, stringy hair covered part of her face, but what Fai could see of it didn't look peaceful, even in sleep. His heart clenched as he watched the shallow rise and fall of her torso.

Blinking away his tortured expression, he turned back to Ashura. The dark haired man's lips were moving, but Fai couldn't hear his words over the roaring in his ears. Ashura's eyes were no longer cold and hard; instead, they were wild and desperate and full of panicked rage. He seemed only moments away from making wild gestures to accompany his speech, something Fai had never known him to do.

"Are you listening to me?" Ashura demanded suddenly, his voice suddenly coming back into focus. Fai just stared blankly at him, his mind still trying to catch up to the situation. Something flashed in Ashura's eyes, and before Fai could even flinch away, his hand came up.

The slap rang through the house, loud enough to startle even Fai's mother from her drugged-up slumber. Fai simply stared at the wall, which his gaze had been turned to by the force of the impact.

In the other room, his mother started to look around wildly. "Fai? Yuui?" she called, her voice sounding young again, innocent and worried for her children.

Something broke in Fai. He turned and quickly made his way through the dirty house to his room, Ashura's accusatory glare haunting him as he left.

Hours later, Fai lay on his back watching the sky darken through his window. Chii had popped her head in to check on him hours ago, turning on the light as she did, and the glass became more reflective as the world behind it deepened in color.

Fai's own eyes were glassy as he stared at it. He hadn't moved in hours, unless you counted his stomach, which seemed to be rearranging its contents depending on the hopelessness of his thoughts. His check had quit stinging maybe an hour or two before, but his mind apparently had no interest in giving him similar peace.

Finally, he convinced himself to roll out of the sheets and turn his light off. There was no clock in his room, but he judged the time to be at least midnight. He was about to crawl back under his sheets and hide from the world when something outside his window caught his eyes.

It was the light in Kuro-pon's room, twinkling at him in its friendly little way from across the distance that suddenly seemed too vast to be acceptable. Fai frowned at it, trying to convince himself that he didn't need this-he didn't need to be held, to be comforted and assured that nothing he did was his fault.

But he wanted it.

That was the problem, he mused, his eyes fixed on the brightness and warmth that was so near but seemed so far. Kuro-chan made him feel safe and wanted, no matter how much the front he put up tried to disagree. He wanted to protect Fai, and all Fai wanted was to be protected. Put in such simple terms, it was as if they were two puzzle pieces just waiting to be fit together.

Life wasn't that simple though. Fai knew that better than anyone, or so he liked to tell himself. Kuro-chii deserved someone good and whole, which he most certainly was not. For his part he didn't deserve someone as good as the serious, protective, caring boy next door.

But he wanted him.

Groaning at himself, Fai hopped up onto the bed and pushed the window up, glancing around once before slipping out and pulling it down behind him.


	11. Start With Me, I am Your Gateway Drug

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _11-Start With Me, I Am Your Gateway Drug_

Kurogane looked up as a sharp, insistent knock came at the window of his bedroom. As expected, Fai was on the other side, his bright blue eyes unusually hard and serious. Wondering what could possibly be stuck up the blond's ass this time, Kurogane leisurely made his way over the the window and pushed it open, raising his eyebrows when Fai wasted no time in scrambling over the sill.

Fai dropped to his feet inside the room, looking up at Kurogane with what could only be described as a glare. His expression added to Kurogane's surprise; he rarely saw anything on Fai's face other than his annoying fake smile, and he never saw anything as harsh as a glare.

"I don't know how you did it," Fai spoke suddenly, softly, "but I wish you hadn't."

"What the hell did I do this time?" Kurogane asked, bewildered.

"You made me trust you!" Fai snapped, his lips curling in the beginnings of a snarl. His eyes widened at his own admission and he turned away with a soft curse.

"Hey, id-Fai, what are you talking about?" Kurogane asked, trying to turn him around. He had originally intended for his wording to be different-more like his usual style-but at the last minute he decided his usual charm wasn't exactly suited for the situation.

Fai refused to turn to him, bowing his head instead. Kurogane sighed; he had no idea what to do in this situation. What does one do when the person they love is apparently having a crisis over the fact that someone cares about them and puts himself in that situation anyway?

After several long moments of awkward silence, Kurogane decided to change the subject. He looked around the room, trying to find a distraction, and his eyes finally landed on his collection of DVDs and games. He wasn't sure Fai was up for the kind of games he owned, so he finally asked in a suddenly quiet, awkward way, "So, uh...do you...want to watch a movie? Or something..."

Fai looked up, blinking rapidly. Kurogane wondered if it was his imagination or if there was a wet sparkle in those deep sapphire eyes. "I-yes, please," Fai answered almost shyly.

"Go ahead and pick something out," Kurogane told him gruffly, gesturing with his head to the bookcase containing his collection, as he tried to hide his blush.

Fai complied, moving across the room with easy grace that Kurogane couldn't help but watch. His crimson gaze softened, and a small smile quirked his lips.

Part of him wondered if their relationship-whatever it was-would change now that Fai had admitted to trusting him. A part of him doubted it, but another, larger part of him couldn't help but hope it would. He couldn't help but hope that Fai might actually stay with him and love him as well as trust him. He shook the thoughts away, blushing again at how sappy they were.

When he looked up, Fai was grinning at him, holding up...one of Tomoyo's girly movies. Kurogane groaned as he recognized Hanamizuki, which Tomoyo had forced him to watch at least ten times since she got it last year. At the look on Fai's face, however, he gave in. After all, how awkward could it be watching a romance movie with your not-boyfriend?

Very, very awkward.

Kurogane found himself looking everywhere but at the screen. He practically knew the movie by heart though, so it wasn't much help. He kept glancing at Fai instead, but the blond actually seemed to be completely absorbed by the storyline. At one point he considered taking the pale, thin hand that rested on the couch between them, but he rejected the idea with a quick mental scolding.

"It's a beautiful story, don't you think?" Fai asked suddenly. He kept his eyes on the screen, but his expression was dreamy rather than attentive now.

Kurogane couldn't help himself. He snorted loudly, drawing the other's concerned gaze. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I guess...if you're into that kind of thing..." he admitted, "I guess after the fourteenth time, the story is kind of lost on me."

"Fourteenth?" Fai asked, his expression amused.

"Tomoyo forces me to watch it, okay!" Kurogane snapped. He could feel his face heating up rapidly and was sure his blushing cheeks shone like a beacon even through his tan and the darkness of the room.

"And you don't like it at all," Fai confirmed with mock sincerity.

Kurogane glared at him, but Fai's only response was a cool smile as he settled back against the arm of the couch. Seeing him sitting there, looking relaxed and comfortable in Kurogane's house, made the darker-haired boy's thoughts run wild. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he couldn't help but wonder how it would be if Fai could be here every night. He started to open his mouth, but as he cleared his throat to speak, he thought better of what would probably have been a unusually forward question. He must have been getting to tired to think straight. It was after two in the morning, after all.

"Kuro-chii?" Fai asked, leaning into his personal space. He seemed to have forgotten the movie in favor of the fact that Kurogane had clearly been about to say something. Kurogane wondered if Fai really wanted to hear what he had to say or if he just wanted to make Kurogane uncomfortable by pressing the issue.

"What do you want?" he asked gruffly as he leaned back, hoping he could avoid scrutiny by playing dumb. He immediately regretted his decision when a hurt look passed across Fai's face and he sat back as well. When the fake smile returned, he cursed him himself, afraid his stupid hesitation had cost them months of progress. Still, when he opened his mouth, he couldn't quite find the words to amend the situation.

"Fai," he began suddenly, sounding exhausted with defeat. The blond pulled his eyes away from the TV again, looking surprised.

"I..." Kurogane tried again, glancing at Fai and away again.

"You...?" Fai prompted, raising his eyebrows.

Kurogane shifted uncomfortably, then took a deep breath and forced himself to turn and focus on the attractive blond boy in front of him.

"Are we friends or...something else?" he asked, chickening out on the suggestion he'd planned halfway through.

Fai's eyes widened anyway, suggesting that he knew exactly where Kurogane had been headed with his sudden outburst. Kurogane started to panic, and Fai started to lean in, a smirk playing across his face. Kurogane was sure he was about to be rejected, successfully ending the first relationship he'd had before it began.

"I did tell you I was single, didn't I?" Fai whispered in his ear. He sat back, still smiling, to meet Kurogane's eyes.

Kurogane gaped at him, his brain still trying to catch up with his ears. His mouth worked without sound for a few moments, and Fai continued to smile patiently at him.

Finally he recovered, swallowing hard. "Uh, yeah...Well...You-you willing to change that?"

He had to be sure. Fai had so many options with his looks-as if his shaggy, shiny blond hair and bright sapphire eyes weren't alluring enough, he had near-perfect porcelain skin and the ideal height by most girls' standards. He waited breathlessly for Fai's response.

The blond rolled his gorgeous blue eyes and leaned in, still smiling, to press a chaste kiss to Kurogane's lips.

Kurogane was sure he stopped breathing for several long moments. His heart fluttered as if it were trying to burst free from his chest or fly up to his throat. He froze for several long moments, but then instinct kicked in and he kissed Fai back.

Their lips moved together in a smooth, relaxed way that seemed more right than any moment in Kurogane's life up to that point. His arm wrapped loosely around Fai's waist, and the blond leaned into him at the slightest pressure. They stayed that way for what seemed like ages, and when they finally pulled back, their faces were flushed and they were panting for breath.

Fai gave a breathless little laugh, slumping into Kurogane's shoulder. Kurogane was still trying to recover from the new developments, his arm still holding Fai to his side. He relaxed finally, focusing on the movie for the first time all night. It was near the end now, but he couldn't say he was particularly interested in the climax. A small part of him wondered if even Tomoyo would be concerned by the unfinished plot line if she'd been here. Personally, he doubted it-she'd probably be taking pictures of this rare moment of snuggling he was doing with the blond boy beside him.

The credits began to roll, dragging him from his thoughts. He started to sit up, then realized that Fai's weight on his shoulder seemed to have increased rather than lessened and that he hadn't moved away, as expected. His eyebrows raised with surprise, Kurogane lifted a hand and gently brushed his golden bangs out of the way.

Of course, he thought with a small, private smile. Fai had fallen asleep nestled into his shoulder. As usual, he face was peaceful and practically radiated beauty.

He thought about moving Fai to the bedroom or at least settling him comfortably on the couch, but found himself reluctant to move the other at all. In fact, he quickly came to realized he wasn't particularly interested in moving either. Instead, he began carding his fingers through Fai's silky hair unconsciously, leaning his head back against the back of the couch.

The credits were still scrolling across the screen, and the music that accompanied them quickly lulled Kurogane to sleep, his fingers still tangled in the blond locks.


	12. Turn To Me When You Don't Feel Loved

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _12-Turn To Me When You Don't Feel Loved_

Kurogane shifted slightly as the sun fell across his face. He wasn't ready to wake up yet, but his awkward position was beginning to make his neck ache, and there was an unfamiliar weight on his legs. Groaning softly, he roused himself and sat up straighter, forcing his eyes open.

His heartbeat stuttered as he looked down to find the serene face of the sleeping blond still in his lap. It didn't look as if Fai had moved all night, and he looked better rested than Kurogane had ever seen him. The events of the night before came rushing back, and Kurogane felt a tiny smile pull at his lips.

He picked up where he'd left off the night before, running his fingers through Fai's soft hair. The peaceful atmosphere of the living room was made up of soft sunlight, the quiet music still issuing from the menu screen playing repeatedly on the TV, and the sense of companionship from the two boys on the couch.

After several long moments, a look at the clock finally convinced Kurogane that it was time to get moving. He sighed heavily and withdrew his fingers from the blond locks. Moving carefully, he maneuvered Fai's head from his lap onto the couch. When his legs were finally free, he stood and stretched thoroughly.

Still rolling the kinks from his neck, he made his way to the kitchen. The tiles were cold under his feet, but he ignored the sensation and stumbled to the fridge. He pulled it open, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and looked over the meager selection inside. It looked like he would have to go shopping again soon.

Finally he decided to make some rice and eggs. He pulled the eggs from the fridge and set up a pan on the stove for them, then plugged in the rice cooker and was on his way to the pantry for the rice when his doorbell rang.

Cursing under his breath, Kurogane turned the heat down on the stove and went to answer the door. Fai was still sleeping peacefully on the couch; it didn't looked like he had even stirred since Kurogane got up. Kurogane smiled to himself, glad that no one could see it. If there was anything Fai really needed right now, it was probably sleep.

Pulling the door open, he was met with the wide-eyed, frantic faces of the kids down the street. Word began pouring from their mouths the minutes they saw Kurogane, tumbling over each other's and generally making no sense. Kurogane opted for staring blankly at the two for several long minutes.

"And no one can find him!" Syaoran burst out finally, effectively ended the mixed-up tirade.

"Who?" Kurogane asked, still completely lost as to what they had been going on about.

"Fai!" Sakura cried, her pretty face twisted with distress, "Haven't you been listening!"

Kurogane was torn between rolling his eyes and taking pity on the two of them. He quickly gave in to the latter urge and stepped aside, letting them pass him to see the blond asleep on the couch.

"Why is he here?" Syaoran asked, confused. Sakura, on the other hand, seemed to accept the situation without question and quickly made her way to Fai's side instead, laying a pale, slender hand on the blond's forehead. Satisfied with his condition, she pulled back with a tiny smile lighting up her bright green eyes.

"Couldn't sleep last night, I guess," Kurogane lied with a shrug, "So he came over to watch a movie." He hoped the kids wouldn't notice how girly and romantic the menu screen that still played on the TV was. Still, he figured it would be better than shattering their innocence by letting them in on the fact that Fai was abused and not safe in his own home. Swallowing hard, he made his way back to the kitchen, calling softly over his shoulder to ask if they wanted anything.

They declined and left soon after that. Kurogane finally managed to get the rice and plugged in his well-used rice cooker.

As he waited for the rice and eggs to cook, he thought about the two kids who'd been a constant in his life since they were in elementary school. He hadn't seen them much lately, as they always seemed to be running off on their own projects and his time had been consumed by trying to make sure Fai was going to be some semblance of "okay."

Sakura was still full of life, as she'd always been. The other thing that hadn't changed was that she still carried the same stuffed lion-bear thing she'd had for years. Kurogane had never really been sure what it was, but Sakura had insisted "Kero-chan" was a lion the one time he'd asked. Syaoran had supported the story, but Kurogane supposed it was open to interpretation.

Syaoran, on the other hand, had changed a lot over the years. Kurogane could remember back when he'd first moved in. Back then he'd been a moody kid who couldn't stand to be in the same room as Sakura for more than five minutes, but now it was as if he couldn't leave her side. Kurogane couldn't help the little smirk that crossed his face at the thought, but before he could dwell on it, there was a sound from the living room drawing his attention.

He poked his head through the doorway to see Fai sitting up on the couch, stretching his bare, skinny arms up over his head. The movement caused his wrinkled shirt to ride up, exposing a strip of bare, bruise-free skin, which Kurogane took the opportunity to stare at shamelessly. When he looked away, Fai was grinning back at him, lowering his arms slowly.

"Like what you see?" the blond asked playfully, swinging his legs over the side and standing. He began another round of stretches, but before Kurogane could appreciate the gesture, a loud sizzling from the kitchen told him the eggs were ready.

Fai followed him into the other room, shivering as his bare feet came into contact with the cold tiles of the floor. He practically pranced over to Kurogane, winding himself around the larger man in a successful attempt to gain warmth. A tiny smile spread over Kurogane's face, and he turned his head so the blond wouldn't see it as he transferred the eggs from the heat of the stove to a waiting plate.

Within minutes, the rice was finished as well and Kurogane served up the small meal. The two boys sat together at Kurogane's small kitched table, and for once it didn't seem empty. Fai babbled happily about things Kurogane had no interest in, but he let the blond talk.

"So, I never saw the end of the movie last night?" Fai said suddenly as he set his bowl and chopsticks aside. He leaned forward, propping his chin on his folded hands with his elbows on the table, and smiled at Kurogane.

The other gave him a wary look. "You don't want to watch it again, do you?" he asked, sitting back as if to avoid whatever gravitational pull Fai seemed to have on him.

Unfortunately, Fai seemed to have a better grasp on the puppy-dog-eyes than even Sakura, and hers were the most effective Kurogane had seen until now. Fixed in place by the big blue eyes, however, he could do nothing but groan.

"Can you settle for watching it with Tomoyo?" he grumbled finally. It had been a while since the younger girl had stopped by, and Kurogane thought she and Fai would get along dangerously well. He wasn't sure he was ready for that, but if it would get him out of watching that stupid movie for-what, the sixteenth time?-it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

The call was made and within an hour, Tomoyo was ringing the bell. Kurogane could see her through the screen, and he scowled to himself before admitting her bouncing form.

Immediately, she began babbling about Sakura and her plans for new Piffle Princess designs and a hundred other things Kurogane didn't care about. Instead, he was more interested in Fai as the blond appeared in the doorway to the kitchen and entered Tomoyo's line of vision.

The dark-haired girl barely faltered in her ranting as she spotted the unfamiliar figure. Her voice faltered momentarily, but she quickly regained her composure, smiled at Fai, and finished whatever she'd been saying that Kurogane wasn't listening to.

Kurogane, on the other hand, tried to discreetly wipe his sweaty palms dry on the oversized sweatpants he wore. He couldn't explain why-or rather, he didn't want to-but he was incredibly nervous about this encounter. He suspected that Fai and Tomoyo would hit it off and be having tea parties within the week, but he couldn't be sure and Tomoyo was the only family member whose opinion he cared about in the slightest. He waited with bated breath as she turned to Fai and extended her small, pale hand.

"I'm Tomoyo Daidouji. Nice to meet you...?" she left the sentence hanging, but her smile prompted Fai to complete it.

"My name is Fai," Fai chirped, taking her hand in his just slightly larger one and shaking it, "Now, Kuro-pon tells me you'd like to watch this movie with me more than he'd like to. What do you say?" Fai gestured toward the TV, and Tomoyo's eyes followed his movement. A playful, eager, and far too intelligent smile spread across her face.

"Kuro-pon tells you that, does he?" she asked innocently, mimicking the one of Fai's various nicknames that he had used, "Well, I would like that very much, Fai. How did you and my cousin meet again?"

Kurogane rolled his eyes and left the two of them to their gossiping.


	13. Listen Once and You Can't Turn Me Off

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _13-Listen Once and You Can't Turn Me Off_

Kurogane stared blankly out the window, watching the sky slowly darker. Tomoyo had gone home a couple hours ago, but Fai was still curled up on Kurogane's couch, watching his way through every movie Tomoyo kept there and the few she'd brought with her that day and decided to leave with him.

The sound of insignificant dialogue in the background was surprisingly soothing, and Kurogane couldn't help but wonder if it was because it made the house seem less lonely. It also helped to know that there was another person there. Each time he thought about it, Kurogane had to fight down a blush. Tomoyo's parting shot-and the giggles that accompanied it-didn't help at all.

"You boys be good!" she'd called as she backed down the path from Kurogane's door to the car that waited at the curb, "Well...not too good!" With a wink and a wave, she was off. Fai laughed lightly, leaning into Kurogane's side. Kurogane thought about shoving him off in embarrassment, but settled for glaring up at the sky with a heavy blush staining his tanned cheeks instead.

"That was your fault," he'd muttered, referring to about an hour before, when Fai had taken the opportunity provided by a break between movies to kiss Kurogane in front of his young, far-from-innocent cousin.

"Whatever do you mean, Kuro-chu?" the blond replied with mock innocence, nuzzling his sharp nose into the hollow under Kurogane's jaw. Kurogane turned away from him, muttering half-heartedly about personal space.

The two were still preoccupied with their own unimportant tasks when a knock at the door interrupted them both. Fai looked up from the couch, his eyes bright and curious. He looked comfortable and almost happy where he was, but the look changed drastically when Kurogane pulled open the door to reveal Ashura's familiar figure on the other side.

Fai froze, clinging to Kurogane's sleeve with one small, seemingly insignificant hand. His expression remained blank, but Kurogane's trained eye could see the flat-out panic in his eyes. The weight of the difference hit Kurogane like a physical pain and added to his negative opinion of the man in front of him.

"Good morning, Ashura," Fai chirped. His voice was superficial, but Kurogane could hear the emotions warring under the surface. It almost sickened him to hear that Fai could still love and respect Ashura after all the taller man had put him through, but the recent presence of his own cousin reminded him why Fai felt that way.

No matter what they did or how they acted, family was important. Fai believe Ashura had his reasons, and Kurogane had to admit that he was no mind-reader-for all he knew, Fai could be right. It didn't excuse Ashura's behavior, but he really didn't know their family well. A flicker of shame passed through him as he realized just how forward he had been, trying to put himself between Fai and the people who raised him.

Instead of voicing any of his sudden realizations, Kurogane merely nodded a greeting to the man on his doorstep. Ashura returned the gesture with an icy smile before focusing his attention on his cousin.

"Time to come home," Ashura informed him, his tone almost formal. It set Kurogane's teeth on edge, but he promised himself he would stay out of the situation unless Fai indicated that he wanted Kurogane's help.

The indication came sooner and more freely than he had expected. The hand on his sleeve tightened and gave a small tug, bringing Kurogane's gaze down to the other's own frightened, conflicted one.

"I don't..." Fai began softly. His voice seemed to fail him, but he furrowed his brows in determination and said loudly, "I don't want to go back there."

Kurogane blinked, surprised, but before he could respond, a snarl interrupted them. They turned to see Ashura, suddenly fuming and barely able to contain it. His posture was rigid, and his dark grey eyes were stormy and forboding. His long, elegant hands were balled into fists, and Kurogane instinctively pushed Fai behind him. He was sure Ashura would barely be able to leave a mark on him, if at all, but he'd seen proof of what the man could do to Fai's delicate skin.

"You ungrateful brat," the deep voice snarled, "I raised you! I took care of you and fed you when those deadbeats on the couch couldn't remember their own names! I got us a house when they would have let us all rot in the streets!"

He continued to fling accusations, but Kurogane ignored him in favor of catching Fai as the blond seemed to crumble in on himself, nearly plummeting into a crouch in the open doorway. His eyes were wide and he pressed the heels of his palms firmly against his ears, trying to block out the sounds of emotional torment.

"Fai!" Kurogane called, breaking off the torrential rant from the other man. He took Fai's forearms in his hands, his grip firm but not painful. Fai stared straight ahead, wide eyes seeing nothing. His rose-petal lips quivered, and after a moment seemed to be trying to form words.

"He's right," Kurogane made out finally, spoken in a harsh whisper.

"No, he's not," Kurogane growled, his vision turning as red as his eyes for a moment.

He pulled Fai into his arms for a moment and stood with him, keeping the blond pressed to his side for support.

"He's not leaving with you," Kurogane informed Ashura, carefully keeping his voice calm and steady even as he trembled with barely-contained rage. Ashura returned the evil-eyed look Kurogane was giving him, a nasty smirk curling his thin lips.

"You want that bad luck charm hanging around here?" the pale man asked; his silken tone seemed out of place with the rage in his eyes.

"You need to leave," Kurogane ground out, refusing to listen to whatever the other wanted to say.

"You know what he did, right?" Ashura continued as if Kurogane had never said anything, "How he killed his brother over a petty argument and reduced his parents to the drug-controlled shells of human beings they are?"

Kurogane opened his mouth to retort, but a glance at Fai's stricken, conflicted face helped to control his temper. He wouldn't be helping anyone if he turned on Fai's family, no matter how much the arrogant older cousin needed it. Instead, he took a few deep breaths and grounded himself before meeting Ashura's cold, grey eyes.

"He doesn't carry any more blame that you do," Kurogane stated firmly and loudly enough to break through the shell he could see building up around Fai.

Fai looked up, eyes suddenly wide and glistening. Ashura's eyes had gone wide too, as if he was startled by Kurogane's sudden calm defiance.

"He-" Ashura began, although his voice seemed weaker. It was as if the sudden loss of tension in the situation had taken the wind out of his sails. Kurogane cut him off with a sharp, piercing look.

"He was a CHILD," he stressed, his voice barely more than a growl as he clenched his fists. He could still feel Fai's hand twisted into the fabric of his shirt and took another deep breathe.

"If anyone was to blame, it was the man who hit you. And he got what he was asking for, so the subject is closed and you can go back to 'taking care of' someone else, got it?"

He kept his gaze focused steadily on Ashura's own eyes, pushing the willowy man away with the look alone. Ashura hesitated, but didn't seem to have a response. Finally, his lip curled into a sneer and he turned away without another word. Kurogane and Fai watched him get into his car instead of returning to the house next door. With one last heated glare from the driver's seat, Ashura pealed out of the driveway, leaving the cracked expanse of concrete empty and seemingly abandoned as he turned right at the end of the street and disappeared.

Finally letting himself relax, Kurogane turned back to Fai. He offered the tiniest of smiles, which was more than anyone but Syaoran usually got.

Fai was unresponsive, however. He stared up at Kurogane, his bright blue eyes wide and filled with distress. For a moment they just stared at each other, one concerned, the other panicked.

"You know," Fai whispered finally, his voice breaking with the effort to speak through his overwhelming emotions. His eyes searched Kurogane's face, looking for blame, judgement, anything that would upset his world-again. With Ashura gone, he felt as if there would be no one to rely on.

"You told me-" Kurogane began, confused, but quickly cut himself off as he realized that wasn't what Fai wanted to hear. He closed the door with his heel, focusing all his attention on the frightened, suddenly tiny blond man in his arms.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he murmured, following Fai as he sank to the ground, "It wasn't your fault, you don't have to go back, hey..." He knew he was rambling, but he would have said anything to stop the teary-eyed look Fai was giving his chest. No matter how fake they'd always been, Kurogane would take the smiles over this.

His heart constricted as Fai gave in to his emotions and let his tears fall. His entire body shook as Kurogane pulled him close, burying his nose in Fai's blond hair as Fai did the same with his chest.

Neither spoke during the seemingly endless time it took Fai to cry himself dry. Finally, however, his shaking slowed into the rise and fall of deep, measured breathing. When Kurogane finally pulled back, the blond was asleep, his slim, pale fingers finally relaxing their grip on the black fabric. Tiny, iridescent teardrops still clung to his pale lashes, and Kurogane wiped them away with a gentle thumb.

Readjusting his grip on the other's slender frame, Kurogane stood and carried him over to the couch. He laid him down carefully, unwilling to interrupt another much-needed dose of sleep. He knew from personal experience how much tears like that could take out of a person.

He found himself remaining by the couch for several long moments, staring down at the blond who'd come to mean so much to him in silence. He still didn't know what their future held, but he was determined to make it better, whether Fai stayed with him or not.

Personally, however...he hoped Fai would stay.


	14. If You Open Your Eyes

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _14-If You Open Your Eyes_

There was a stillness in Kurogane's house that had been all too common in the last few weeks. Sunlight streamed through the window, and the room was so still that one could see the dust floating in the air. The TV was on, but the volume was turned so low that it was little more than white noise.

Kurogane, on the other hand, leaned against the half-wall that separated his kitchen and the living room. He was watching Fai in his steady, silently concerned way. For the past few weeks, the skinny blond had done little more than sit curled up on Kurogane's couch with his hair providing a curtain that separated him from the world.

Kurogane had tried several times to draw the blond out of his shell, but so far he hadn't had any luck. The only time Fai had even shown more than the barest signs of life was when Sakura and Syaoran had stopped by. According to the kids, Ashura still hadn't returned since Kurogane had stopped him from taking Fai. Chii was currently staying with Sakura and Fai's parents, as usual, barely noticed the difference.

"We could go out for lunch," Kurogane suggested suddenly. Fai was barely eating and his weight was dwindling down to where it had been when Kurogane first met him. While he waited for Fai to respond, Kurogane's eyes traced the prominant cheekbone under the sallow skin of his face.

Finally, when there was no response, Kurogane took a deep breath and approached him. He sat down on the other end of the couch, but Fai didn't turn to look at him.

"Do you want to stay here?" he asked. He kept his voice calm and level, hoping the words wouldn't pull a negative reaction for Fai. He didn't want it to sound as if he was kicking the blond out; in fact, he was hoping to achieve the opposite.

Nevertheless, the other's head snapping up and for the first time in hours, his bright blue eyes focused and landed on Kurogane's face. His mouth hung open slightly as if he was afraid of when this conversation was going. Kurogane had hoped to avoid that, but apparently it couldn't be helped. He hurried to clarify his point.

"We'll need to go get your stuff," he explained lamely.

Fai relaxed, but he still watched Kurogane cautiously. Kurogane couldn't really blame him; his life hadn't exactly been easy, and now everything he knew had been turned on it's head. The least he could do was prove that he cared and provide a new home for Fai.

He met the blue orbs steadily, trying to silently express how he felt. "Chii is safe, Ashura is gone, and we both know your parents won't care. If you want to stay here, we can make that happen."

Fai was slow to react, but he didn't look away. Finally, after several long, painful moments of tense anticipation, he nodded.

"Alright," Kurogane breathed out, relaxing, "We'll go out for lunch, and then we'll come back and start...y'know...moving you in here." He trailed off, his eyes searching for any reaction from Fai.

The tiniest of smiles flickered across the other's lightly-colored lips. He nodded and finally stood, stretching his long limbs. As usual, the movement pulled his shirt up, exposing the smooth, pale skin of him stomach.

Kurogane could feel a tiny flicker of warmth rise in his cheeks as his eyes roamed appreciatively over the view. "Go take a shower," he grumbled in a voice that was deceptively gruff.

Fai, knowing the effect he had, smirk at the other with a comfortingly familiar twinkle in his eyes before he left the room. Kurogane couldn't be sure, but he suspected Fai's hips usually didn't sway quite as much as they did when he walked away.

When Fai re-emerged, his hair was soft and fell around his face, his skin seemed to glow, and there was a healthy shade of pink in his cheeks. He wore a blue t-shirt of Kurogane's that was loose on his slight frame and the same wrinkled jeans. Kurogane wasn't going to complain, however-it was better than things had been.

"Do you want the kids to be there?" he asked as he held the door open, more out of a wish to keep Fai comfortable than any interest in having a larger group.

Fai stopped on the porch, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. Finally he shook his head and smiled up at Kurogane. "I think this should be Mommy and Daddy's day, don't you?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse from disuse.

Kurogane looked away even as he let Fai entwine their fingers. "Don't call me 'Daddy,'" he groused. In response, Fai simply laughed at his discomfort.

Twenty minutes later, they found themselves in a tiny cafe near the hole-in-the-wall place where Kurogane had met the strange woman a few times. Today she was nowhere in sight, but the boy who worked for her was sweeping the courtyard while two little girls watched him from the porch. Kurogane wondered what the situation was like there, but quickly cut off that train of thought. That was what had led to his hands being full of the current situation.

Honestly though, he couldn't complain about the state of things. A thoughtful smile tugged at his lips as he gazed across the table at Fai, who was struggling with a pair of chopsticks. It occurred to him that he had no idea where the other had grown up, and that he might want to learn before Fai came to stay in his home. He cleared his throat, bringing Fai's eyes up from the plate in front of him with a jerk.

"So..." he started awkwardly, "Where are you from, anyway."

Fai chewed on his lip, looking uncomfortable. He seemed to realize that Kurogane would need that information though, so he took a deep breath and met the other's crimson eyes.

"I was born in France," he told Kurogane quietly, "I lived there until after the accident where Yuui died. Ashura lived in here Japan with his parents, but after they died he came to live with us. We all wandered around on the streets for a couple years after Yuui died. I think we ended up in Spain, Belgium, and Austria at some points. When Ashura was old enough, he managed to geet a job that paid well and saved enough for us to get an apartment. He wanted to come back to Japan though, so..." he trailed off with a shrug, but Kurogane knew the rest well enough.

Fai looked up at him expectantly, and Kurogane knew he'd have to offer up something in return for the little monologue. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through the short, dark spikes of his hair.

"I've lived here my whole live," he admitted finally, his voice barely above a grumble, "My mom was sick a lot, and my dad died in a car accident when I was eleven. Mom got worse after that, and she died when I was twelve. My aunt, Tomoyo's mom, took me in and kept the house for me until I was ready to move in." He finished with a shrug of his own as if to say "and here I am now." Fai offered a little smile of commiseration and they returned to the food in front of them, returning to small talk and light banter for the rest of the meal.

Kurogane let Fai take his hand again on their walk home. He seemed happier than usual; his bright blue eyes seemed to glow and he practically skipped down the street. Kurogane had to lengthen his stride to keep from being dragged along. He couldn't help but feel a little proud that Fai had come back from whatever edge he seemed to have been sliding quickly toward.

The driveway next door was still empty when they returned. Fai tried the front door and found it unlocked, which was less than surprising. The silence that greeted them was also expected. The two kept their footsteps light as they made their way to Fai's room; something about the silence seemed to suggest that it shouldn't be broken.

A couple suitcases and several boxes waited in the corner of Fai's room. It was as if he'd been waiting to make his escape and just needed the chance. The shy glance he cast Kurogane when they came upon the sight only reinforced the suspicion.

Without comment, the two began to pack everything they could. There was no hesitation in Fai's movements, and it pained Kurogane a little to realize just how temporary Fai's life must have seemed to him.

It took only about an hour to pack everything in the tiny room. the rest of the afternoon was spent carrying everything through the tiny, dark, silent house, across the open expanse of emerald green grass, and into Kurogane's more inviting house. They left the boxes in the room that had been Kurogane's as a child, since he had taken over the master bedroom, but neither of them really expected Fai to spend much time in there-at least not without a bed.

By the time they finished, the sun hung low in the sky, turning the endless blue into a fiery golden hue. Kurogane dropped into the old bench on his front porch, wiping the sweat from his forehead with an equally damp forearm. Fai perched next to him with posture that was much more refined. Kurogane smirked to himself, thinking that the other definitely fit the French stereotype of being classy. In some ways, anyway.

"Hey," he said suddenly, his voice dropping to a softer tone than he usually used, "You're okay with this, right? This is what you want?" He gestured vaguely back at the house, indicating their living arrangements.

Fai looked up with a twinkle in his eyes as if he was about to respond with one of his usual teasing remarks. He opened his mouth, saw the seriousness in Kurogane's face, and seemed to change his mind. He looked up at Kurogane, their gazes connecting across the short distance between them.

Finally, he gave a slight nod. "Yes," he replied softly, "It's what a want."

A tiny smile, which Kurogane would wholeheartedly deny if anyone made the mistake of bringing it up, flitted across Kurogane's face. "Good," he responded quietly.

His voice was little more than a dull rumble in the fading light, and Fai could feel it vibrate against his side as he curled up against Kurogane on the bench.

Instead of pushing him away, the darker-haired man wrapped a strong arm around Fai's slim frame and pulled him closer.


	15. I Know You'll Find Yourself in Me

**Abandoned Driveways**

 _15-I Know You'll Find Yourself in Me_

Sunlight lit up the kitchen, glinting off the linoleum and trying its best to blind Kurogane as he watched Fai bustling back and forth across the tiny room. Their Lives had been quiet for the last few weeks, and the two of them had settled into a routine. Fai had apparently taken up baking, and Kurogane couldn't say he was going to complain about that-the blond had a natural talent.

Fai looked up and smiled as he noticed Kurogane hovering in the doorway. A strange, newly familiar warmth flooded through the darker male at the sight. This smile was real, and he couldn't help but feel a thrill of pride in knowing that he had helped Fai to reach this stage of "recovery."

In the room behind Kurogane, there were piles of paper on the table. They had been separated into three stacks-Kurogane's homework, Fai's homework, and Kurogane's letters for college. Together, they had decided that it would be best for Fai to take some time off and focus on himself and his new-found freedom instead of jumping right into the stress of various classes. The blond had offered to get a job, but Kurogane insisted he needed to actually rest. He had insisted that Fai take at least six months, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the blond wouldn't listen.

Summer had come and the two of them had graduated. Kurogane's college entrance exams had gone well, but Fai would be taking them again at a later date. He had, however, helped Kurogane choose a school close to home to the two of them could continue living in the home Kurogane's parents had bought.

Much to the delight of Tomoyo and certain girls at school, the two of them were now dating officially. Sakura had tried to throw them a small party, but Syaoran had held her back-Fai had been disappointed, but it was a great relief to Kurogane.

"What's on your mind?" Fai asked suddenly, drawing Kurogane from his thoughts of recent events. The blond was smiling, but there was a vaguely critical gleam in his eyes. Kurogane couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips, but it faded quickly as the worries that had been nagging at him for a while returned to his mind.

"Fai..." he began slowly. Said blond's smile slipped from his face at the use of his real name rather than one of the usual, playfully derogatory nicknames.

"What is it?" Fai asked. His smile had become plastic again, but he met Kurogane's eyes bravely. He looked like he was waiting to be kicked, and the expression seemed as if it was squeezing Kurogane's heart.

"I just wanted to know what you wanted to do about your parents," he explained quickly, "They can't take care of themselves, and we barely qualify as adults. We can't watch over them forever."

Fai's expression cleared, but he gnawed his lower lip, now deep in thought.

Kurogane took pity on him, his expression softening. "We can go see them tomorrow and work it out," he told Fai gently.

Fai nodded, finally looking relieved. Just then the phone rang and Fai answered it, his face lighting up as Chii's voice came through the line.

The next morning, the sound of an engine backfiring woke Kurogane from the warm depths of sleep. He untangled his limbs from Fai and went to the window, shivering as the cool morning air pierced through the light t-shirt and boxers he wore. Fai let out a small groan and rolled over, twisting the blankets into a warm cocoon around himself.

Next door, Kurogane could see Ashura. He couldn't help but be surprised to see the dark-haired man, but he was grateful to see that Ashura was carrying boxes from the house and arranging them in the back of his car.

There was an unfamiliar truck in the driveway as well, and a man even taller than Ashura leaned against the front bumper. He had the same long, dark hair, but his eyes were dark rather than the bright, cold blue-grey of Ashura's. Kurogane wondered if he was a distant relative.

Several boxes were already stacked in the trunk. Sakura and Chii hovered near the end of the driveway, looking scared and confused. They clung to each other, watching the two men clear the house. Kurogane wondered how long they'd been out there. The clock read "9:48" in the morning.

Fai's parents were on the porch, blinking in the early morning sunlight. His father was slumped against the wall, his dirty blond scruff unshaven and heavy bags under his eyes. His mother seemed to have given up entirely; she had slumped to the ground, her thin, tangled blonde hair falling around her face like a curtain.

"Fai," he said urgently, hoping his voice would break through the blond's typically light sleep, "Fai, wake up!"

Fai let out another groan and sat up, the blankets still clinging to his shoulders. His hair was tousled and the folds of the pillow had left harsh-looking red lines on his pale cheek. He blinked sleepily at Kurogane, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to understand the unfolding situation and the look of stress of Kurogane's face. Finally, yawning, he swung his feet over the edge of the bed and stumbled over to Kurogane, taking the comforter with him.

"What is it?" he asked sleepily, leaning against Kurogane as he peered out the window into the bright morning.

Several long moments of silence followed as the two watched the proceedings next door. Then, in a sudden flurry of motion, Fai dropped the blankets and disappeared through the open doorway of Kurogane's room.

Kurogane followed him, emerging barefoot on the lawn only moments after the blond. Fai ran straight to Chii, wrapping his long arms around her shoulders in a hug that seemed to be more for his comfort than hers. Her slender, pale hands came up to grip his forearms, and she looked up at him with dazed eyes. Sakura frowned up at the blond as well, her green eyes bright with tears.

"What's going on?" Kurogane asked, as it didn't look as if Fai would be speaking anytime soon.

"Ashura says we're going home to France," Chii replied in her light, rather high-pitched voice.

Kurogane could see Fai stiffen, but rather than saying anything, the blond just held his sister more tightly as the bright gleam of moisture took over his eyes.

A sense of impending finality swept over Kurogane for a moment, making it hard for him to breath. He was sure he'd lose Fai; he wasn't family, after all. There was no reason for the blond to stay with him when he could go back to his homeland and watch over his sister.

"You're going with them?" Fai asked, his tone filled with sadness and resignation.

"I have to, don't I?" Chii asked, her voice just as strangely subdued. She sounded much older than she was, and Kurogane couldn't help the urge to protect her that rose up in him. Unfortunately, he seemed to have his hands full at the moment.

Silence followed the defeatist comment, and the small group all looked up in time to see Ashura lock the door and turn to Fai's mother, his hand extended in a surprisingly gentlemanly fashion. They watched as he led her to his flashy car, helping her into the passenger seat. Fai's father trailed, but the other man shepherded him into the truck.

"Chii!" Ashura called then. His tone was final, but it didn't hold the harsh finality Kurogane was used to. Instead, he sounded almost weary. His stormy eyes held Fai's with something like regret.

"Go on," Fai told Chii softly after giving her one final squeeze, "I'll call all the time, I promise. Say hi to Yasha for me."

Chii looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears, but no sound came out when she opened her mouth. Finally, she threw her arms around her brother's torso for a moment before turning and running towards Ashura's car, wiping at her eyes. As the two vehicles pulled out and turned away for the last time, she waved to Sakura through the open window.

The three remaining figures stood still for what felt like hours. Finally Fai stirred, the first to recover.

"Do you want to come have some tea?" he offered gently, kneeling down to look Sakura in the eye. A soft smile turned the corners of his lips up, revealing a strange mixture of relief and loss.

Sakura nodded and Fai took her hand, leading her back toward his and Kurogane's home. Kurogane trailed after him, finally sure that he would be spending the rest of his life trying to help families like Fai's.


End file.
